Lobster On My Shoulder …

May 23, 2020 … Saturday (Day 128,973 of quarantining … or so it seems)

Here in the NW we’ve been under “Stay Home, Stay Healthy” orders for a while now. A LONG while (or so it seems) … and I’m not sure when the new release date has been set – but I don’t think it really matters. I’m not going to be going anywhere. Certainly not anywhere where anyone can breathe on me at a close range … like at a nail or hair salon. If you can cut my hair from 12 feet away, with a mask on and disinfectant simultaneously being spritzed into the air … I’m coming in! But otherwise, nope. I will be doing it myself – per usual. And, while I’m thinking of it … why are dog “salons” called dog groomers and why aren’t salons for people called “human groomers”?

The little poodlette I was taking care of for the past few days just went home. I combed her out as best I could (as she was looking a bit scraggly) trying to untangle her funny, frizzy hair without causing her distress. Poor baby really needs a day at the groomer’s.

Funny thing … as I stood looking at my imagine in the mirror this morning that’s exactly what I was thinking about myself! Poor baby really needs a day at the groomers! Don’t we all?

My hair is now below jaw length … don’t ask me how long it took to get here (a year? longer?) … my hair grows at a painfully slow rate. I think it must be hormonal. In any rate … the grays are coming and the hair is growing (a little) and I’m trying to not let it all bother me … too much.

The problem lies in that I have baby fine hair. As in BABY. FINE. Wisps of cotton candy or clouds are thicker than my hair strands. I get any sort of millimeter of extra length on said head and the hair hangs off me like the long ears of a basset hound. Not exactly my best look. How can such thin hair have such weight?!

I usually cut my own hair. Have for a million years. I have gone to salons and walk-in clip shops but it’s always the same … I sit/they snip twice/I pay. And it doesn’t really matter if I paid $100 at a salon or $15 at the strip mall place … it never looks that good and I go home and recut, whatever is left, myself. I never am satisfied with a salon cut. So, why go?

So … that’s what I do. But, I’ve decided during this quarantine time to just “let it go” … let what I can’t fix – just float away. Be an aeronaut of hair – just going along on the breeze, letting nothing phase me … letting my hair do what it wants. I’m going to great lengths here by saying this. Well, not great lengths but I’m giving it a shot. Maybe I’ll be able to change things up a bit – other than the normal (hideously awful) “page boy”. I can already make a pony tail (which is extremely exciting) … it’s a small, ill-looking, dinky one for sure … but it’s a pony tail nonetheless.

I can also sport pigs! Yes, I look like my body is 80 and my hair style is that of a 4 year old and those who don’t know me might think I’ve escaped from some facility … but I can make pig tails! Glory be!

I’m waiting for another few inches so that I can maybe braid some strands or do long Shirley Temple curls. Probably neither a good look but they are options! And that might take another year. Or I can do a partial updo … as it is now most of it is a down-do as I don’t have enough to go UP … but a few more inches would be helpful.

Why is hair such a thing for me? For women? For men?

Years ago when I shaved my head for research (that was a really horrible experiment) it took almost all year to get me sporting a longish pixie. Told ya my hair grows slowly. It was not a good thing. But, I learned a lot. Mostly how to tie scarves around my head. They looked nice. But they weren’t normal. Not here. Had I lived in some other nation where head dressings are common – I would have looked great. Here, I got mostly those pity eyeballs from people thinking I was sick. Too bad. I kind of liked that scarfed look.

Every now and then I’ll color my hair. It’s normally a bit TOO mousy for me … brown, brown and brown. Oh and gray. What started out as a few strands have now morphed into shocks. But only at the temples and they are mostly under other strands … somehow.

My hair has been a number of colors … mostly darker ones cuz I like the contrast with my light/pale/ivory/sickly skin tones. In the summer (a real summer – not a NW summer) I tan … but most of the time I’m just kind of pasty. Which is always a lovely way to describe oneself! So, to offset that (or complement or whatever) I tend to go more brunette. The dark color kind of tints my scalp (probably not a good thing) and gives the appearance of MORE HAIR which is always a good thing.

I’ve been darker brunettes and some really awful auburns but never a blonde. I don’t think that would be good on me. I don’t like the skin color and hair color being the same. Once I tried (what looked to be a beautiful shade on the box) a plum color … that started out really pretty for a few days and then after a few shampoos it turned kind of like a sick raspberry hue. I kept thinking I looked like some whipped jello concoction from some 1960s ladies’ luncheon. That was bad. Really bad.

I’ve been purple … well, not really totally eggplant (as I’d love) but dark black cherry with some eggplant streaks. In order to get total eggplant (at least the last time I checked) I’d have to strip my hair and I don’t want to do that. It’s so porous I’m afraid I’m permanently damage it.

Besides being porous and baby fine – it is also sparse … meaning, not many strands on this noggin’. So, I plod along with hair that you’d find on a semi-bald infant. Lovely.

My mom says I had “a lot of hair” when I was in high school … well, to qualify that I had LONG hair; it went down past my butt. And if hair was an academic subject – in length I would have been an A+ student. In thickness … um, I would have failed that subject completely. What my mom tends to forget is that in humidity my hair would (for lack of a better description) … pouff out. If I had short hair it certainly would have been the envy of anyone with an “afro” hairstyle. White girl/pouff-city.

What happened in the midwest and my hair was that it pouffed out but because it was long, it pouffed out sideways. I could wrap that hair around me like a blanket! Also not a good look.

When it was wet … if I was sporting a pony tail … you’d swear I had a very thin garter snake hanging from my neck down my back. Seriously. I could fit all my hair into one of those rubber bands made to hold braces together! Well, maybe not … but it seemed like it.

My mom is 91. She has always had hair. I mean GOBS of it. If she doesn’t get a haircut every 6 weeks or so we’d never find her face! My dad had thin, but nice, hair … I got his hair. How sad to note that the thinnest thing on my body is my … hair. (It couldn’t have been my legs or arms or chin … it had to be my hair!) My kids have good hair. I like it when Ted has a little length to it – and I’m not talking John Lennon … more like Robert Redford. He’s got good hair. My daughter has gorgeous hair … so many highlights … reds/coppers/blondes/several shades of browns … it’s long and so pretty. Tim had a great head of thick, almost black hair … wavy, shiny … a gazillion hairs on that head. I guess our kids got his hair. Good thing.

Anyway – I have a feeling we are going to be under this “Stay Home, Stay Healthy” order for a while longer … and even if the state doesn’t mandate it, I will probably volunteer to do so. I’m not willing to risk getting this covid crap.

So … I might just experiment with a color (again) as I grow this out. A month ago I put in blonde streaks (which ended up turning out more like polka dots on my head) … so, I might give one of the newer purple hues a try.

And if it’s a fail … I can bring back the scarves or just wear it in pigs. It’s not like anyone is going to see me anyway!

May 21, 2020 … Thursday 8:30 pm

I’m a numbers gal. Today is Day 23,011 in my life – not in Covid quarantining – though it does feel one and the same. You do the math.

I sure know how to celebrate a birthday. I went and got a Covid test and then got fried chicken at the gas station. Who says I don’t know how to party? Or that this island doesn’t have fun things to do/places to eat?

Actually, the chicken at Naomi’s is fabulous! Just fyi. Better than many restaurants here. Yeah, I know … sounds pathetic. Next year’s celebration will be better. The bar has been set pretty low!

The town had free testing … thought it was my “civic duty” to subject myself to the almighty Q-tip. It was nothing. Why do people make such a big damn deal about things? It took all of 10 seconds (maybe 8) and I was on my way home. I waited in line for 2 hours but the test itself was nothing.

I have a fur baby here today. It’s nice to have a little bundle to talk to – I’m kind of tired of talking to myself! We have three days of doggie bliss ahead of us.

I’ve been walking the cliff lately … that sounds much more Heathcliff-like than it is. And I’m not actually on the cliff/no little footpath in the meadow with the raging seas below me. I’m on a road … houses on either side of me – but the sea beyond. It’s a beautiful, peaceful walk. There is very little traffic because the road dead ends … it used to go through but the road and someone’s front yard fell into the sea during some storm years ago.

It rained off and on all day today … and I’m not sure we got above 50 degrees – so, rather cool/wet. But, the skies cleared in time for an evening stroll. I was going to take the dog but it took us 20 minutes to get past my neighbor’s and well, that wasn’t working … so, back in the house went little doggy and I went on my way.

There are 20 houses along the cliff from the end of my street to the dead end along the bluff. Width-wise some of these houses have about 30 feet of lot … others have almost a football field in size with a main house and a garage and one or two separate other buildings … an art studio or yoga room … a family house … an office. I know one little place is a rental (with a killer view). Some of the homes are hidden behind tall wooden gates and when the gates are open I peek inside … and most of the time determine that they are better off with the gates closed!

Most of the homes are sizable beauties, woodsy in nature and nestled amongst the madronas and cedars. The azaleas and rhodies are in bloom everywhere. Some lawns are manicured like golf courses … others, well – not so much. One or two of the houses are mere cabins – and it’s likely no one has touched them up since being built – probably 50 some years ago. But, if anyone was giving one of those properties away, I’d gladly take it off their hands! The views out over the water/past town and to the west off to the left and the mainland and the mountains off to the right are beyond stunning.

I am a numbers gal. Tonight I counted 4 rabbits and a little bunny, 1 cat, 2 dogs, 5 deer and lots and lots of birds.

The other night (I’m trying to make this a nightly thing) I walked down to almost the end – there is an empty lot that does crash down to the sea before the end of the road. So, I was sitting at the edge of the meadow/almost on the road just taking in the view … wispy gray clouds scuttled overhead … the sun was setting and it shone like glitter on the water … the mountains (the Cascade Range) rose up, in the distance, on the mainland … so many perfectly peaked, white-capped volcanoes … foreboding but beautiful. Camano – the island across the water from us – looked lush and green with a few house window panes sparkling – reflecting the lowering sun. It really is beautiful here.

I was sitting watching the swallows flit (they move like bats) over the grasses of this little cliffside meadow … they were so fast! I heard a woodpecker off behind me … heard some robins peeping … other birdcalls (which I don’t know) resounded … and then I heard the flapping. I heard him before I saw him … a bald eagle … swooped up from the sea and twirled over the meadow and me before heading back west. His wings flapped a few times and I wondered how heavy he was. A big bird … with such a tiny little voice. I watched him as he flew along the line of the sun on the water … it reminded me of the ending scene in Jurassic Park when the pelicans are flying low.

I ambled home – glad I can finally make it down to the end of the road again. It’s been a few years of foot/ankle/knee problems where I haven’t been able to walk that far (and it’s not really THAT far) … but since we are in this Covid shutdown – I have to do whatever I can do to exercise this knee (tear/arthritis/sliding knee cap) because PT and the pool are not open. So I am walking. And it’s nice that I finally can.

Tonight’s walk held no eagle sightings though I know there are two eagle pairs and that they have nests along the bluff. No eaglets out flying either. Maybe earlier in the day.

I was going to sit out on my deck steps, one of my favorite places to sit, and read for a bit but it’s just too chilly. I love listening to the birds chirp their good-nights. The robins are always last. Peep peep. And I say goodnight to them all and tell them to be cozy in their nests and to have a peaceful and sound rest. Sometimes if I sit long enough I’ll hear the owl’s first hoo-hoo of the night. That’s always so lovely. Sometimes I talk to him – sometimes he (or she) answers back. That is always a (dare I say?) … hoot! It’s still light out – we are now closing in on about 9:30 before it’s dark out. Mid-summer it’ll be an hour later. I love that about the NW in the summer. So much light … but just wish it was warmer. Right now 50 degrees is not cutting it for me! But, it will come … at least a little warmer. I just need to be patient.

The sun is down but the sky is still light … puffy gray clouds move fast as I look out my window … I can see the edge of night off to the east. Time to go read.

I’m a numbers gal … what will I be doing when I turn 25,000 days? I hope it’s somewhere as beautiful and peaceful as here … but hopefully it won’t include a nasal swab or chicken from a gas station!

April 25, 2020 … Saturday … Day 918,245 of quarantining

“We’re all in this together.”

Yeah – I know. How many times have you heard that this month? This week? TODAY?

A lot. Just yesterday I saw a “BINGO” game on FB that you could play while watching TV … and you could fill in a space every time a commercial came on that used the words … challenging, trying, unprecedented or uncertain times … or safety, distance, apart or simply … we’re all in this together.  

I won 12 times in an hour. It wasn’t fun after that!

So, I went outside and sat on my front porch steps to listen to Mom Nature and see what I could see/smell/feel. It was a lovely day … soft, springtime breezes scented the air with the blooming lilacs and wisteria that were hanging over the picket fence … birds were chirping … the tulips were open and happy … people walked by with their masks on. Yep … just another ordinary day of Covid quarantining.

I have a new subscription to “Smithsonian” magazine. How did I live so long without it? It’s fabulous! I’m forcing myself to read things I usually would not. My covid promise to myself is to educate and enlighten. (And exercise but I fell off that bandwagon early on!) So, yesterday, while sitting on said porch steps, drinking my tea and reading about a retired Thoroughbred farm in Kentucky and viticulture in the desert of Israel, I realized that not only was I enjoying the articles but I was loving the ads.

I read slowly because I’m a word person. I read and savor. I roll some words around in my mouth like printed marbles. I say them out loud. I sometimes replace them (the editor in me). I like the ebb and flow – as mesmerizing as watching waves on a tropical beach … and love how words are strung together – like pearls on a long necklace. They are jewelry in print. I’ve always been a glitter girl … anything sparkly, pretty, glitzy, glam … that’s me. No one would ever know that about me from my unpolished nails and yoga pants … but that’s me. Inside. With words.

So, as I was reading I’d catch snippets of loveliness and could feel my body relaxing. Lean in to it, they whispered. It’s all good, they suggested. Whomever put these pages together did a great job because after our fearless leader suggested people get injected with disinfectant to clean themselves as a cure for Covid … I was feeling a bit rattled, unnerved, upset, disgusted … (Need I go on?). Anyway – the words were soothing … soul balm in print.

I opened up the magazine anew and leafed through it … concentrating only on the wording of the ads and articles. I was being caressed by the words. I sat out there for about an hour, paging through and being comforted by this magazine. I could transport myself to Kentucky or Israel or England in the articles … but for a few moments I was on my front porch steps just being. It was lovely. And calming. And I thought of all the people in the world, who due to this virus, are forced to be still. Slow down. Relax. Chill. Breathe.

I feel Mom Nature is doing the same thing. I can almost feel the whole earth taking in a huge breath and letting out a contented sigh. I sound goopy when I say this (especially out loud/in print) but I think the Earth needed this. As horrible as it has been for millions of people … and the deaths and financial upheavals and everything … I think the Earth needed this time to just be. As we all do. And I hope we all take a step back and realize that life doesn’t have to be hurried and crazy – all the time. That it’s okay to slow down a bit … sit, read, rest, be … from time to time. Walk. Bike. Get outside. Bask in some sunshine. It’s okay. Let some lightness in.

It is what it is. It’s a weird time. But, sickness aside, you have the opportunity to have it be as good or as bad as you are wanting to make it.

I scanned the pages gathering words just as I had collected the lilacs earlier – with joy and abandon … support, special, relevance, earth optimism, restore. treasure, create, paradise, warm thoughts.

There were ads that suggested international sights without international flights … come visit the coast when the coast is clear … recharge/life’s essentials here (Costa Rica) …  a future where we don’t have to worry about the future. It all sounded so good … like a warm milk bath – but with some candles and maybe a brandy on the side.

I realized my breathing slowed (who needs yoga?!) and I was taking in the air and scents and words that were all so comforting at this time that is uncertain, trying, unprecedented and challenging.

So, do something simple. Breathe deeply. Read something. Rest. Get some air. But stay safe/wear your mask/stay away/stay okay. And keep in mind … though we are apart – the distance is for our safety. Everyone’s safety.

And remember, we’re all in this together.

April 94th, 2020 … Saturday (actually, it’s only the 18th)

BUT … it seems like it’s the 94th of April and day 17,896 of quarantining. Oh, life, how we all miss you! Covid – I don’t know where you are – but stay away!

I am writing this in jest … but with an underlying VAST concern for the well-being of my friends and family and their friends and family and for all those that I don’t know – everywhere. Be safe. Be smart. Be well.

I watch TV and shudder at the marches by people who want to get back to normalcy. We all do. We hear your cries. We know it’s tough. And tougher for so many with the virus or caring for someone or who have lost someone or who are trying to juggle financially or home/food security. But, why be stupid about it? Ignorance is really tough to swallow when science and death is in your face all day. I want to tell them to turn on the TV – not be ON it! Read something. This global pandemic is NOT the makings of the media or the democrats! It’s just not. Be smarter than all that. Egad. It’s disheartening and upsetting and … frightening because they are NOT helping the leveling out of this problem. And our leadership sucks.

So, with all that said … what have I been doing? Well, apparently not what so many (more creative) people have been doing! I haven’t painted a mural in my living room … I haven’t made a movie or made a CD … haven’t had a “hot tub” Zoom friend meeting in my bathtub … haven’t organized my books in alphabetical order according to title and then again by author … haven’t learned a new language or how to make Korean bbq … haven’t done a WHOLE LOT. I feel like I’ve actually done a WHOLE LOT of NOTHING!

Except … I’ve gone through my dad’s memorabilia and found some interesting articles and items … packed up a few more boxes for my imminent move to Anywhere … bleached my bathtub (who now doubts that I am one fun gal?!) … did some yard work ( including gutters) … fixed a fence … made some (pathetic attempt) masks and also made some good dinners and some horrible cookies … and I’ve been in touch with an armload of people whom I haven’t been in touch with for a while – so, that has been really nice.

I’ve also fallen in love with Andrew Cuomo, Tony Fauci, Randy Rainbow and a baby hippo named Fiona from the Cincinnati Zoo. You need to look her up and watch the videos … it’ll make your day! Hippos, River Horses, were my favorite animal as a kid. No kitties or bears for me … no, I wanted a pink hippo … or, better yet, a real one. I’m still not convinced a baby pygmy hippo could not fit in my bathtub! Well, any other bathtub … mine is pretty much a Motel 6 reject!

I’m letting my hair go/grow … and have plucked my eyebrows so well that I could be in an issue of Glamour magazine – as a “DO”. I am also wearing quarantine gear that would land me in the same issue under what NOT to wear as in a dreaded Glamour “DON’T”. I also like that with a slight muscle twitch of either said eyebrow I can give the best evil eye without really trying!

Son, Ted, is still here … which has been REALLY nice. Nice for ME … not sure how well he’s doing as he was to be roaming the Asian countryside for 3 months and well, now, he’s stuck in the NW with mom! So – can’t speak for him – but I’m loving having him here and cooking for someone else other than me, myself and I.

The long-term dog, Sadie, has gone home to her owner. I have her for months each year and the house is so empty without her. I am really needing a pug baby or two or three! And a lab. One of these days I’ll SNAP! … and surprise everyone (and myself) and decide it’s time. It IS time … I just need to act on it!

And, honestly, quarantining for me hasn’t been a hardship. Life is not too unlike what it was before our shelter in place order … which makes me think I really need to GET A LIFE! How sad is that?! I realize I don’t really go anywhere/do anything/etc etc … so, yeah other than not being able to travel … I think it’s time to shake things up!

And I’ll start with my singing debut. Lucky you! And since I can’t hold a note … you’re going to have to sing the words for me … in the shower or out … hope they bring some joy to your day.

My version of “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables … 

Les’s Miserable …

I dreamed a dream I had some dogs … furry butts and income would be so welcome.  I dreamed I could meet a friend and hug … sit together and eat pizza.

I was (not so) young and unafraid … pre-Covid was pretty blissful. There was no ransom to be paid for wanting sanitizer and non-essentials.

And the trucks, they come at night … bringing us covid-free groceries. Not exactly what I want … and certainly not any Tee Pee eee eee eee eeeeeeee! 

I dreamed a dream of time gone by … before this awful, horrid Covid. Before so many of Trump’s new lies … before Cuomo was my boyfriend.

June, July and maybe August … maybe later before we are normal. I just want to go and see a friend …

I dreamed a dream … I killed Covid-19.

Ha ha .. I’m not really miserable! xoxoxo Stay safe! 😷 

April 5, 2020 … Sunday

Happy Quarantine Sunday fellow lobster followers. Actually, I’ve been having issues when posting – so, you may not get this until Monday or Tuesday … but, regardless, hope it’s a happy day.

Ted is across the dining room table from me – the “aroma” of nearly burnt coffee is wafting in from the kitchen. He likes his coffee dark/strong. The smell kind of gets my stomach to flip around … like it needs any help these days.

Nice to have him here … nice for the company. Nice for the safety I feel. All the tracking numbers and the trajectory estimates and rates of this mushrooming virus are unnerving. It’s comforting to have another body in the house with me. And even better that it’s his.

Sadie went home today. We are now dog free. I need to vacuum as my house is not (fur free). With this quarantine comes an end to having dogs here … they are all at home with their owners – keeping them company instead of me!

The pull for a pug baby (or two … or three!) and a lab has been really strong the last week or so. I’m not good without an animal by my side/at my feet/under my covers. I’ve been looking at website …

I’ve been whiling away my time in quarantine by going through piles of paperwork I brought home with me after my dad died. It’s actually a good thing I have this time as I’m not sure I’d ever get it done otherwise. Dad was very involved in the local Park District when I was growing up and I’ve been perusing yellowed and brittle 1960s newspapers for a week now … sorting through and cutting out the articles that he is in … photos, columns, letters etc. It’s been a bittersweet journey.

Last night I unearthed photos of his paternal grandparents … my great-grandparents … my kids’ great-great! I’d never seen them before. It was a family photo of the parents with their surviving 8 (of 10) boys and families gathered for their 50th wedding anniversary. They were married in 1894 … so this photo was from (I’m assuming) 1944. Wow.

And, there, taller than anyone, was my dad – all 16 years of age – standing next to a handsome man – his dad/my grandpa – all of 48 years. I only knew grandpa when he was an older man – stooped by age and arthritis. He was in his late 60s by the time I could remember much … 70s from when I truly remember. It was lovely to see him so young and handsome! His wife, my grandmother, was about 40 in that photo … quite the beauty. But, then again, she always was a stunning woman.

There was another photo of Anthony – the patriarch of the family – at a print table. It’s amazing to me that he, too, was in the printing business. That connection flows through the generations, on that side, intentional or not – great grandpa, grandpa, dad, me … all associated with type/paper/the print media industry of some kind.

When going through dad’s things I came upon a stained, wrinkled, torn and very much folded piece of paper .. a story – one he must have loved and held close. He was involved for years with group meetings/panels/organizations and the public and I have to think that somewhere these lessons wove into his soul and these were words he lived by … lessons that he practiced.

So, on this Quarantine Sunday … which is really only the 3rd or so on this journey but feels like the 17, 486th one … now, more than ever, it seems a good time to take a look at the wisdom of the geese. Let’s take these lessons and practice them, as well.

Lessons from Geese – Angeles Arrien  

Whenever a goose flies out of formation, it quickly feels the drag and tries to get back into position. Lesson: It’s harder to do something alone than together.

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for others behind him. There is 71% more flying range in V-formation than flying alone. Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of common purpose can get there quicker.

When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the head. Lesson: Shared leadership and interdependence gives us each a chance to lead as well as opportunities to rest.

The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

When a goose gets sick or wounded and falls, two geese fall out and stay with it until it revives or dies. Then they catch up or join another flock. Lesson: Stand by your colleagues in difficult times as well as in good.

Stay in/stay away/stay healthy. Be smart. Check on your neighbors/friends/family. STAY SAFE! And, if you have to go out – wear a mask!

March 17th, 2020 … Tuesday

Friday the 13th … I should have known then the date falling on a Friday and affiliated with a full moon would wreck havoc. Yeah – I should have known. That combination brings out the crazies … but that day was different. It was much more than the usual lunacy.

I’ve returned from my trip to Colorado and North Carolina – nothing like scheduling a personal trip during a global virus outbreak. However, myself and both places were Covid-19 quasi-ignorant at the time of my departure. But things (as in “virus”) were changing daily/hourly and I cut my trip short and hightailed it home – back to the NW (infection city) before the airlines were shut down or the WA borders were closed. Neither has happened … yet … but I was worried they would. I left my home when the death toll in WA was 6 … 10 days later we’ve reached 50 people gone. While NOT GOOD … the virus, as of today, has taken nearly 8000 worldwide! It is beyond time to get serious.

I was in the airport in Charlotte when WA state was announcing school closures … when a friend of mine texted me that the grocery store supplies were at apocalyptic lows and the NBA had suspended play. I had left the basketball craziness in Greensboro but was experiencing my own kind of March Madness.

I watched the TV above my seat in the boarding area. Watched how our illustrious President – the Ignoramus in Chief – blatantly lied during a press conference and then took ZERO responsibility for the lack of direction coming from his office. Later he gave himself a “10” for doing so well with all things virus related. OMG. It’s apparent we cannot count on our highest office to offer any solace or direction. We need to be smart.

I feel like tossing my Girl Scout cookies but figure I’d better ration my cleaning supplies! And … what is it with people hoarding cleaning supplies? Cleaning supplies, sanitizers, food and … toilet paper. TOILET PAPER?!

What gives with the TP?! Yes – we are now in what the WHO is calling a global pandemic with the Covid-19 virus. Yes – it can be deadly for some people but the majority of people who get it will have mild to severe flu-like symptoms (2-14 days after exposure) … malaise, aches, fever, coughing and shortness of breath. If you experience any of those symptoms call your health care provider or 911. You might need medical attention (difficulty breathing) or maybe you might just need some rest and chicken soup.

But you will not need 120 rolls of toilet paper!

I started this post when I was in the air – 30,000 some feet up – and joked with my seat mates as we wiped down our areas well enough to make any HazMat worker proud – that if they had to use the plane’s bathroom, they’d better do it before some looney stole all the TP to sell on the black market once they arrived home!

Little did I realize how true that may have been! What is with people?! I joked (as in ONLY KIDDING!) with a friend that I’d been to 3 hotels last week and could have stolen a good dozen rolls and paid off my mortgage from selling them when the time gets right. I could have stuffed them into my sweater and if anyone said anything I’d just look sad and say, “Bungled boob job.” Alas, I missed my chance!

The guy sitting behind me on that flight – yeah, the one with the loud voice, the one coughing his fool head off and not covering his mouth, the one who turned his phone on before we landed – you know, the ass of the plane … was (presumedly) talking with his wife telling her to “make the rounds” and get as much as she could of said TP.

I wanted to engage him in a civil conversation about such ridiculous behavior but knew I couldn’t be civil. I figured an altercation somewhere over Utah probably wasn’t in my best interest.

I know this is unprecedented … I know this is scary … I know we are not in control. But hoarding things does not make any sense! And it certainly doesn’t help out the person who REALLY needs whatever you’d got 200 of.

People … (as my dad would say) … this is a dangerous and scary situation for many. For most of us – if we get it – our symptoms will be mild or non-existent. We’ll simply be carriers. Lock down, etc. will be a mere inconvenience for us – not life-threatening as it is for those compromised or elderly. And, yes – on the flip side there are financial hardships along with all of this. The trickle down effect from closing big businesses to those self-employed will have great impact … and may be absolutely devastating to some. And, the stock market will be in trouble. This outbreak has economic implications as well as health-related ones. But – do not panic. We will rebound. We will go forward. We are resilient. We can do this. And if we stay away from each other – this will all go away sooner. Or so we hope.

I am self-quarantining. I am not taking the chance of passing this along to any of my older neighbors. Am I worried about them? Yes. Am I worried about my 91 year old mom? Yes. But I have to have faith that people will be smart and do what they are told and the lack of social contact will be the demise of this virus. It will just die out. Eventually. In the meantime, stay in … stay away … stay safe.

Will we go stir-crazy before that happens? Maybe. But I am one of the lucky ones. I will not be that impacted. I could be in my home 6 months and still have projects to do and food to eat. It might be dog food – but it’s food. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen … but, if it does, it does. For those of us so fortunate … read a book. Be creative. Write some letters. Give a (gloved) hand. Clean your house. Play with your kid. Share some stories with others (mail, email, phone, social media, etc) … we do not have to be isolated while in isolation! It doesn’t have to be “awful” or so hard … financially for some yes – emotionally/mentally NO! Now is your time for a stay-cation. Relax into it and do not stress (it weakens your immune system)!

And I say this so easily because I am not scrambling for financial security. I am not worried about money for medication or food. I am comfortable in my home. I am not worried where my next house payment will come from because I’ve been let go from my job. For many of our neighbors this is complete reality and it’s scary. Be helpful and understanding as much as you can be. Be a light in the darkness. What control of this we have is to be cautious and care for those that now need assistance most.

I was around a LOT of people last week; I hate to think that I might be a carrier of this virus. I have no symptoms but without testing – how do I know if I’m positive or not? How do any of us? No one knows if they have it or not if they don’t have symptoms … and those with symptoms aren’t sure if it’s the regular flu (it is flu season) or a cold or allergies (spring) … so people continue on with their lives as testing is not available. I’m just not taking any chances. Nor should anyone else. This is not the time to be flippant.

We’ve been told to stay home. Hunker down. Wash our hands. Shelter in place. Practice social distancing. Limit our errands and the like. Yet, nowhere in any of these directives does it say to hoard toilet paper.

I’m not making fun of the situation … this is a frightening time for many people. I’m just poking fun at the idiots around us. I understand that this is so different for most of us because unless you are in your upper 70’s or older … we’ve never had a national emergency. We’ve never had to limit buying. We don’t know what it’s like to ration. We’ve never had to quarantine. But we don’t have to be jerks.

I saw on Facebook the other day a post that said, “Your grandfathers were called to war. You are called to stay home and sit on your couch. YOU CAN DO THIS.”

Exactly. We can do this. But we need to be respectful and responsible and helpful. Stop hoarding stuff. Ask your friends and neighbors how they are doing and if they might need anything – and maybe, just maybe in your time of need – someone will spare a square.

February 27, 2020 … Thursday

It’s sunny out today! And it was sunny yesterday, too! Woohoo! An anomaly for us here in the NW. It’ll get gross again soon enough – but wow … 2 days in a row! I should go buy a lottery ticket!

Yesterday, to help my knee (did not) and to escape the chaos of the upcoming election (ugh – 8+ months to go) and the impending doom/pandemic (Covid 19) … I went up island to the club to practice my mermaid skills. There’s nothing like a little water therapy to soothe the soul.

I still say the water in that pool is too cold … I’d stay longer but after 30 minutes I’m chilled … after 45 minutes I’m lucky to get out of the water and into the hot tub before I turn into a popsicle.

Anyway – as I was perfecting my stealthy Navy Seal (not a ripple) strokes, I got to thinking about well … swimming. And I thought about Dori (from the movie Finding Nemo) and that her “motto” was “just keep swimming”. So I did. And it got me thinking that no matter what is going on in our lives … health issues/political crises/work issues/day to day stuff that gets everyone down (oh, the “horribleness” of 1st world country issues – like wanting a piece of melty cheese for your cauliflower and you realize you just fed the last piece to the dog)… we need to JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

Going forward is always a good thing. But, there are days when – for whatever reasons – going forward is just TOO MUCH … so, tread water. Stay where you are and relax into it and just tread. Keep your head above water and let yourself be. You expend little effort, you can regroup, you survive whatever big or little issue.

At the end of my lap time I do a few lengths of the pool of lunges and leaps (as much as you can lunge and leap in 4 feet of water!) … I walk on my toes, I walk forward and backward and I hop … and I also tread water. I’m up to 10 minutes before I get bored and too cold and then it’s time for the hot tub and sauna.

But yesterday as I was treading water in that calm pool, feet from the side, positioned in the sunlight that was filtering through the glass roof onto the pool (oh, it was so nice and warm and sparkly!) … it got me thinking. And it got me thinking about Heidi.

I just read a story about her. She and her male companion live somewhere out east/near water and one lovely day they went off for a day of boating. It was a lovely day – until it wasn’t. They were having a lovely time – until they weren’t. Something happened and the boat started taking on water. They were miles from any land. They were unable to radio for help. There were no other boats near them. As the skies darkened, the boat capsized and Heidi and her companion were separated by the waves and darkness.

With nothing to cling to and not knowing in which direction land might be or if she would bump into her friend – Heidi did what she had to … to conserve energy, to regroup, to survive … she treaded water.

Fortunately, a fishing boat came by and saw her and plucked her out of the water … 11 HOURS LATER! Her companion was also rescued and, after being checked out – they were reunited.

True story.

So, when life throws an extra dose of whatever at you – tread those proverbial waters and be thankful you’re not actually wet.

Oh, and by the way … Heidi? She’s a German Shepherd.

February 19, 2020 … Wednesday

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is learning to dance in the rain.”

So here we are at this time of our lives … aging daily as in bodies, careers, dreams … with declining or passing parents … embroiled in political maelstrom … with changes of all types occurring or looming ahead – health, job, kids, home.

And here I am … experiencing it all (along with everyone else) and wondering …

Where is the light?

I find myself saying (a lot) … “I don’t like this time of my life.” … all this angst … uncertainty … change! But that is life! It is what it is. And either we can be miserable and feed into it and be eternally grumpy … or we can learn to dance in the rain.

So, I’ve got my dancing shoes on as I need some lightness. Some humor or some lovely little something to lighten my load. I need a little bit of …

Sunshine.

It was actually sunny here in the NW today. An oddity for sure – but oh, so nice! I woke up to two snoozing dogs bathed in golden rays on my bed. It was really a treat (the sunshine/not necessarily the dogs!). Today we (in this part of the country) had roughly 10.5 hours of daylight. I use that term very loosely because (where I live) first light is around 6:30 am and last light is around 6:10 pm … and for those hours in between – if it’s not rainy, overcast, gray, gloomy, dreary, or mizzling – it’s your typical day where twilight arrives shortly after breakfast. Daylight – perhaps; Sunshine – no.

Sunshine might not be a big factor up here but daylight is … and tomorrow we’ll have 4 more minutes of it … and the next day a few more … and by the time we are leaping around on the 29th we will have added a whole 30 minutes of daylight to our days.

I lived in Denver for 34 years. It was always touted as the city that had 300 days of sunshine. Well, Denverites – sorry, that’s not exactly true … but, you do get around 245. Chicago = 189 … San Fran = 259 (really?) … and Seattle a measly 159. And, if you live in Yuma, AZ then you need lots of pairs of sunglasses as it’s sunny 90% of the daylight hours!

So, wherever you live – until the days lengthen and the political climate sweetens … we can bring a little more light into our souls by learning how to dance in the rain.

Or in this instance … tell Alexa or Pandora to play some of these tunes and you can dance TO the rain.

“Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” – BJ Thomas

“Come Rain or Come Shine” – Ray Charles

“I’m Singing in the Rain” – Gene Kelly

“Stormy Weather” – Lena Horne

“Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” – Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR)

“Here Comes the Rain Again” – Eurythmics

“It’s Raining Men” – The Weather Girls

Go dance!

February 18, 2020 … Tuesday

“Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”

One Life to Live … Days of Our Lives … All My Children … who doesn’t remember those titles of old/bygone soap operas?

I have to admit I was an AMC fan for eons … me and AMC go WAY back! I remember eating lunch in COLLEGE and watching it! So – yeah … I watched good ol’ Erica Kane go from a hefty size 3 to a size 00 and grow younger and thinner as each year passed. Only on TV!

How many of us were sucked in to watching at LEAST one “soap” at one time or another? How many of us knew (and cared) who shot J.R.?

And how many of us haven’t fantasized about meeting someone ruggedly handsome or flawlessly beautiful with a name to match? I can tell ya I’ve never met a Langston Wild, Fallon Carrington Colby or a Lionel Lockridge in real life. When I lived in Chicago everyone’s name was Joe or Smitty. In Colorado it was Bill or Sue. Here in the NW it’s Leaf or Sunshine. Not one single Jackson Montgomery in the bunch.

I remember getting hooked on OLTL when I was pg with my daughter … 30 some years ago! I wasn’t feeling well and I was eating saltines in the kitchen flipping thru channels and I came upon some dream scene with angels. It was actually a coma scene (of course!) … silly me! And, anyway, I was an instant fan! Who could resist all those fluffy angel wings and a fog machine working overtime?

Alas … the days of Dynasty, Falcon Crest,  Dallas and all the daytime soaps are past. I miss them because the only soap opera I turn into these days is the Rachel  Maddow  Show and I wish to god it was made up!

Every damn day there is something unbelievable in the news – mainly from our current President. (If you know me, you know how I feel about him. If you don’t like it – don’t read my stuff.) Last week it was a plethora of things … the month before more … the month before that more of the same and then some. Nothing is THAT shocking anymore – which is shocking in itself! It’s just a continuous onslaught of garbage and disgusting bits of what – for anyone else – would be abhorrently disgraceful and people would be calling for him to be out on his ass. Every day brings something new and fresh and just as disturbing and disgusting and it all kicks us in the stomach and fills us (well, at least me) with dread and despair and … dare I say it? Indifference. There are days when it’s just too much and I feel so helpless and see what I know this country to be just slipping away … like the coast of CA in one of those disaster movies (2012) when it all slides off into the ocean. Today it was the presidential pardon of the former governor of IL … who (up til today) was in a CO prison fulfilling his sentence. No longer. He’s already on his way home. I’m glad my Chicago-born dad is not buried as he’d be rolling around like a chicken on a spit today.

I can’t stand it anymore. We have a democratic party that can’t seem to get their shit together. They are attacking each other so that at the end of the day – we are all so disgusted with EVERYONE – why would we want to vote for ANY of them? I’m just asking them to pick someone. ANYONE. Any warm, living, decent human being with a brain. OMG. Get everyone behind this person and blow FA* (*use your imagination) Trump out of the water/White House. We don’t have that much time left to get the message out that the Democratic nominee has to be the ONLY choice. Time’s a’wastin’ kids! Stop cannibalizing your supporters and each other – band together! Unite and get back to decency. OMG.

(And I’m not on a political rant – per se – and I do know that the economy is good and that some good things have happened with this presidency (I’d have to really look to find them but there’s got to be something) – but there has been SO much damage … environmentally to us/going forward and globally and with our allies. It’s pitiful. We need to get back to decency!)

I’m sick of the angst. I’m sure most of the country is, too … whatever “side” you are on. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. And I’m so tired of it. I love Rachel but I’d love her even more if what she was talking about wasn’t so gut-wrenching and upsetting … every damn day. EVERY. DAMN. DAY. If her show were not the RMS … it could be As The Stomach Churns. I just can’t take it anymore.

We have 259 days until the election this year … sounds like a lot. I know it’ll go by – as years always do – too quickly – but I don’t want my next 259 days angst-filled only.

All I tend to hear is negative news. It’s all around us. So much negativity … and that makes me grumpy. And I really don’t like being grumpy. So, today I decided that I’m going to bring, on a consistent basis, a little levity to our world … a little slice of Heaven (maybe without the fluffy angel wings) … a little bit of joy and a little bit of sunshine … in whatever form it comes to me in … a quote, a story, a joke. We’ll see.

As my friend said tonight, “One has to have some relief from the unending assault on our sense of decency and our hope for humanity.”

So, true. So starting tomorrow I’m going to start a new lobster campaign and try to spread a little cheer … a little hope … a little something NICE to my fellow lobster fans and friends to give us some relief.

If nothing else – it’ll give my adrenals a little support, my stomach won’t be churning (as much) and maybe, just maybe, I won’t be so grumpy!

January 20, 2020 … Monday

I would like to think it started with the Baltic Sea … but I would be wrong.

It started years earlier when we signed permission for our, then 17 year old, son to go on a trip with his language class to Germany.

The travel bug bit hard! I should have known but I was naive … thinking this would quell further desires. Oh, yes it was great to broaden his horizons and open up his world – at the same time making it smaller/more accessible. But international travel was not in our wheelhouse. It was (dare I say?) … foreign to us.

We had no idea how far that one trip would take him or where both of these kids would eventually go.

I should have known when I got the photo of Ted in the Baltic Sea. Yes – IN the Baltic Sea. IN the commercial fishing lanes. IN a kayak … holding onto a buoy. Oh boy. But – he was smiling!

What can I say? That travel bug bit him as a teen and for the other half of his life – he’s been following his heart and filling up the pages in his passports. My daughter’s bug bite was lesser but she was still bitten. I can still see her beaming face as she sat at the kitchen table with her 3 girlfriends – just after they hit the “send” button on her computer booking their backpacking trip to Europe. That was an exciting day!

That was also the day I started buying Tums and Rolaids by the case! Nothing makes the stomach juices start overproducing than a photo of your son on a buoy in the Baltic Sea or the mere thought of your beautiful teen daughter wandering the countryside in a foreign land.

I’ve managed to make the rounds of a few countries in Europe. I’ve been to Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean. But my travels and experiences do NOT compare with that of my kids’.

And because of them I’ve traveled the world … 40 plus countries, 5 continents and a variety of vast bodies of water. I’ve been in ponds, rivers, streams, lakes, bays, cays, seas, and oceans … and I’ve barely even gotten wet! I’ve been in deserts, savannahs, mountain peaks, jungles, and forests. I’ve been in the countryside and in all sizes of cities. I’ve traveled not knowing one word of the native language.

Last week the Taal volcano erupted. Ted sent a “Remember When” photo to me from 4 years ago from when he was standing on its rim. Lovely. (As in OMG! What the …)

He was in South Africa when Mandela passed. Oddly enough he was in Cuba when Castro died, as well. He missed the Russian invasion of Georgia by 2 days (or less). He was in Syria before the war started and Sarajevo (Bosnia/Herzegovina) after their war ended. He was just in Lebanon where there were protests. He’s passed through security scrutiny that makes me nearly physically ill when he just relays the arduous and intimidating procedures to me. He’s been in places I’m sure he probably should NOT have been.

Some stories I know. Others I don’t. Some I’m sure I don’t want to know about. The stories about bribing the border patrol and out-running some crooked police make me glad I don’t know them all.

I’m content to look at pictures from the comfort of my armchair. From there I can’t get thrown into some foreign jail, snacked on by a shark or lose an ear due to frostbite! (Not that any of that has happened to either of them! But just sayin’ … )

Sam just got back from Hawaii. She’s an adventure girl and I think I eat more Tums and Rolaids when she’s gone than when Ted is off on his escapades. The what-ifs of a woman traveling solo are always in my head … obviously, that’s not the case with Ted. I worry differently about him.

This past week was very rainy (as in VERY rainy) in parts of Hawaii … and seemingly where Sam was particularly so. One of her Instagram posts was of her on a very muddy, slippery/slimy jungle trail – leaning over some bushes while photographing some yellow raging river/waterfall that plunged some 400′. I’m at home in said armchair yelling at the images on the phone telling her to BACK AWAY FROM THE CLIFF. I knew she was alright because I had just talked with her and the images were from the previous day’s hike … but still! Her next day’s hike was canceled due to deadly and dangerous conditions where people were being emergency air-lifted from the trail. Yeah – more Tums. I did the same thing last month when she was on a teeny tiny loose gravelly mountain trail with a mountain wall on one side and a sheer drop on the other. I’m pretty sure the trail was less than 3 feet wide and had an incline grade of 30%. I knew she was home feeding the dog but it didn’t stop me from yelling at the video saying, “STOP RUNNING! STOP RUNNING!” I can still hear the loose gravel skitter away beneath her feet.

My kids don’t have kids. They don’t get it – yet.

But, because of my kids I’ve traveled the world! Through their adventures I’ve been swimming in a pristine (and extremely cold) mountain lake in Switzerland … I’ve been air dropped and skied in the Canadian Rockies. I’ve hiked and biked Moab and Zion and the Grand Canyon. I’ve hiked 14’ers and other mountain peaks – with and without technical gear. I’ve taken breathtaking snapshots of the Tetons at daybreak (Wyoming) and a haunting image of a shepherd girl (Syria). I’ve snorkeled with sea turtles in Hawaii and I’ve gone free diving in Mexico – all without getting sweaty or wet (or having to put on a bathing suit! Bonus!)

I’ve eaten guinea pig outside of Machu Picchu (Peru), fried grubs (Mexico City, Mexico) and questionable street foods (Everywhere). I’ve climbed countless steps – with a 40 lb backpack – in Cinque Terre, Italy as well as ancient ruins in Mexico and the pyramids (Egypt). I’ve run marathons across the bridge spanning the Bosporus River in Turkey between Europe and Asia and between villages in Italy. I’ve run with packs of wild dogs in Ankara (Turkey) and Bangalore (India) … and moose in the mountains of Colorado.

I’ve seen Notre Dame (Paris, France) and Aleppo (Syria) intact before the ravages of fire or senselessness of war. I’ve been to World Heritage Sites that are no longer. I’ve wandered spice markets and catacombs ands swam in turquoise waters. I’ve seen the Great Wall and the Terracotta Warriors (China). I’ve stood in Red Square (Moscow, Russia), been in awe of the spires in Prague (Czech Republic) and have strolled along canals in Copenhagen (Denmark) and Amsterdam (Netherlands). I’ve even bungeed off the world’s tallest bridge (South Africa) … and I didn’t even throw up. (But after he told me about it – I wanted to!)

I’ve shared stories and dinners with locals almost everywhere. Smoked a cigar in Havana (Cuba) and mentored talented minds in Gaza (Gaza Strip). I’ve slept under the stars and stayed in tents and huts and cabins, hostels and 5-star hotels in jungles, beaches, deserts, cities and mountains all around the world. I’ve visited the temples in Malaysia and Thailand. I’ve seen artwork and architecture that is awe-inspiring. I’ve seen lions and giraffes on safari, sat with the Fossey gorillas and walked with the Maasai warriors (Africa). I’ve even spent 13 days in an ICU unit in Delhi (India). (Yes – that was scary.)

And that is the tip of the iceberg of travels (and oddly, no one has been on an iceberg!).

Do I feel that I’ve missed out and wish I had been in on their adventures? Most of the time – no. I’m not that adventurous. They got that bent from Tim. I’m very content to see their photos and hear their stories (and sometimes not hear their stories). Do I wish to go off with them – somewhere – sometime in the future? Sure! I’d love to zipline through a Costa Rican jungle or hold a koala bear (before they are extinct) and certainly I’d love to go to The Netherlands or Brussels, or to Paris or Copenhagen (again). But I’ll leave the adventure travel to them – I’ll see the photos and hear the stories later. But, for the most part, I’m content to stay home, sit in my armchair and eat Tums.