Day 147
Four hundred and sixteen dollars.
I took Mobes to a new vet the other day for her annual thyroid blood draw. I should have done it before we left town – but, um, I was a little busy doing other things and it kind of slipped my mind.
Long story short – the appointment was at 3:00. I arrived 10 minutes early, the doctor arrived 70 minutes late. After a brief, awkward and disconnected “visitation” I was left alone for another 15 minutes. She popped back in and talked to the dog and then left me again for another 20 minutes. I had to ask the receptionist if we were done or if she was coming back. The oddest appointment I’ve ever had. And then I was handed my bill totalling … $416.
FOUR HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN DOLLARS.
I am not joking. I refused to pay it. I paid for the office visit (for which I received nothing but angst) and left still needing blood work done on my dog. Stupid.
FOUR HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN DOLLARS. I’m still aghast at the audacity of someone actually thinking that was a reasonable amount for what was done.
What else could one do with $416.00 …
You could get 416 penny gumballs out of a gumball machine. Of course, by then, you’d also have carpal tunnel from turning that little knob. Or if you were back in the 1960’s you’d get gum and small trinkets! Like a troll doll with celluloid hair! Fantastic!
Or you could get 416 double cheeseburgers or small fries at Mickey D’s or splurge and get 104 Starbucks coffee frappuccinos with soy and whipped cream, of course, thank you very much.
Or you could wander into Payless and get 46 pairs of $9 sneakers … or 92 pairs if you go during BOGO.
Or are you wanting flip-flops instead? Hop on into Rite Aid and get yourself 166 pairs and you’d still have money left over. Or better yet – scoot over to Old Navy and get 277 pairs. Those would last you several lifetimes at the beach or gym changing room.
If you were so inclined you could go to Applebee’s or Chili’s and get 20 of their 2 for $20 meals (meaning you’d get meals for you and a friend … 20 times) or go by yourself and take home doggie bags 20 times!
You could purchase 238 tubes of whitening toothpaste. By then you could smile and light up a room in the dark!
You could save it and accrue interest (hmmm, what’s that again?) … or hide it under your mattress for a rainy day.
Or you could donate it to some charity that says they’ll feed a hungry child for .32 a day for 1300 days … that’s nearly 4 years.
Or you could buy 139 boxes (almost) of Girl Scout cookies … thin mints, samoas, or do-si-do’s. What is your pleasure?
You could fly to Paris. Of course, you’d have to stay there because you wouldn’t have enough money to get back home. Pity.
You could go to the $5 movie on Tuesdays and see 83 movies and have enough money left over to buy a small popcorn (extra butter please). Or you could see 82 movies and get a large popcorn!
You could get your car detailed (at $75 a pop) 5 times and still have money left over for cheeseburgers, fries, Starbucks, popcorn and a couple of movies!
Or you could get ripped off by a flighty vet who thinks you are stupid enough to pay $416 for a blood test. No thanks. I think I’ll do something else with my money.