Dreamin’ …

Day 102

I’m a dreamer. Not in the sense of being wistful and looking out into space with a dreamy look on my face while thinking of bunnies hopping through flower-laden meadows with little fluffy white lambies gamboling about … but in the sense that I dream. A LOT.

Lately I have been sleeping on the couch. Long story short: my king sized bed will not fit into my new bedroom. I have no bed. The guest bed is in place but I cannot find the mattress pad nor any of the linens associated with same … so, I’m finding it easier, yet a lot smaller and far less comfortable, than the bed – linens or not. I might change things up tonight and sleep on the naked mattress. Me and 2 pugs and at least 1 cat on a smallish couch do not make for good sleeping … nor for good dreaming.

The other night I had nightmares. Full blown, wake up in a sweat, try to shake the awful dream from your head/memory nightmares. Even now, thinking about those dreams, gives me the creeps.

I am one who, if I don’t like how things are going in my dream … rewind and make a better outcome. That night I couldn’t do it. The rewind button was not working and I was at the mercy of whatever thoughts were warping my dream outcome. And it was nothing too awful and nothing at all plausible or possible … my house was surrounded by grizzly bears.

In that dream my house was no house I’ve ever lived in – it was some little wooden cabin surrounded by a dense forest. It was lovely – except for the grizzly bear part! Of course, there were many bears and of course they were big and shaggy and they knew how to open doors (like the raptors in Jurassic Park) and of course they were wanting to eat me and the animals.

And it was one of those dreams when one of the pugs was suddenly Sam and then Sam was a reindeer and it all made perfect sense when I was sleeping and yet, now, it sounds so stupid and like nothing … but in the moment it was so frightening. I have yet to shake that sense of dread. Even last night before letting the dogs out for their final romp in the yard I paused to consider if it was safe for them to go out … what about the chance of BEARS?! Now, really?! I don’t suspect that there have been ANY grizzly bears at ANY time in the vicinity of my home … at least in the last 200 years!

Anyway … dreams. They are scary or fun or interesting or problem solving in nature. I never fly or fall … though I have been known to have springs (of sorts) on my feet and as I walked along I could spring up and do a twirl and pirouette or some ballet leap. It is fabulous! I’ve had that dream a few times.

And then there was the one, several years ago, when my cat, Emmy, was over my shoulder as I was coming out of some office building and she said, “It’s 9 o’clock, I’m tired.” (in an oh-so-cute cartoon voice) and the lady behind me said, “Oh look, how cute, it’s a talking cat.” Like that was everyday and common place. I still think about that dream if I look at the clock and it’s 9 o’clock!

And even now, I wonder what kind of drugs I was taking at the time when I was in 4th grade (I was a sickly kid and could have been taking some new-fangled antibiotic). I dreamt of my teacher, Mrs. Elvin … kind of a big, scary woman … and somehow I fell down a laundry chute and landed in her living room that was comprised of furniture made solely out of pale blue ostrich feathers! Yeah, I’m pretty sure some drugs were in my system for that one! But it’s when I first realized I dreamed in color!

In any case … I’m hoping tonight I sleep better and that no grizzly bears pop into my dreams and that maybe I’ll be lucky to have springs on my feet instead!

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