January 14, 2021 – Thursday (still covid, still Trump era, blah blah blah)
You know the saying … that someone is “in the dark”? Well, that’s been me – figuratively and literally.
Last night I was under my covers, flashlight in hand, reading – like some 8 year old sneaking pages of Charlotte’s Web after bedtime. I didn’t last long … restlessness overtook me and Advil pm helped put me to sleep. Power outage 30-something since being on this island – maybe more – sent me to bed at 7:15 pm dressed as if I’d put on everything in my closest. If I had rolled off the bed – I wouldn’t have felt a thing!
After 28 or so hours of being in the dark (and cold), this morning I woke to the hum of the furnace – ahh, blissful warmth. I am so spoiled. The last I checked before climbing into bed for the 8th time last night, the thermostat read 54 degrees. When I checked this morning it was a warming 58; otherwise known as a nice, balmy day in June around here – but in the house, all day, in January? A tad on the chilly side. I scampered back to bed and grabbed the dog, for extra coziness, for another hour while the house warmed up.
Today’s hot shower was more than warranted and appreciated. I am such a wimp! Anyway – power is on! Yahoo! I warmed up and purged my fridge at the same time. And here I am … oh, computer … how I missed you!
I also missed watching TV yesterday and all the political things that were going on – an historic day in our country. A second impeachment for Trump. Who would have guessed? (Just about everyone.) And thank you people of reason and sanity in our government who voted for it … and those that didn’t? How is that even possible? This is not a partisan thing. This is a vote to do something good and protective for this country. Disgusting. Where the hell is your conscience? Where is your integrity? What were you thinking???
Every few hours I’d sit in my car and blast the radio and heat, recharge my phone and catch up on things while I thawed out a bit. Radio is good. TV is better. Cars with heat and a recharger … fabulous.
And as I sat there listening, I was again – in the dark – about what the Senate was doing. I am not understanding why a vote was not taken today or for that matter, why Trump wasn’t ousted by Pence before 8am last Thursday. In my opinion Mitch McConnell is a damn coward. He said there isn’t enough time to call Senators to session and vote. I beg to disagree. If someone wants to get something done – they make it happen … come hell or high water or anything else. He is pathetic. Get it done, Mitch. You weenie. (Pence is just as much a weenie, too. All this brings out my 9 year old playground self. Disturbing.)
I browsed through FB the other day … after the siege on the Capitol (which gets scarier every day as they release more info) … and came upon a post from a long-time friend – hailing our disgusting President for all his “goodness and virtue”. I didn’t get through it. I was stunned and sickened. After what happened on the 6th … this is posted? REALLY? Again, I was in the dark about her beliefs. I guess I chose to ignore things as the years went by … or maybe things didn’t “come up” in those xmas cards and short emails. I’ve said before that I’ve lost friends over this political administration … and, well, there goes another one. It saddens me. I can overlook some things but to post THAT? Can’t do it. I just don’t understand how anyone can think he’s so great (or even a decent human) after all this time and especially after last week’s incitement. And it took him a WEEK to say anything to his supporters about violence not being a good thing – and was it enough? I’m not going to get into it – it’s disgusting and disturbing and we’ll all be watching it all week.
But, it all has made me review a few other friendships/associations and those I will also be walking back on a bit. The thing that I hate about this President the most is that he’s made me HATE. And I HATE that! But all of this has also opened my eyes to some things and made me more aware so I’m no longer in the dark about some people or their beliefs. I’m not going to change anyone. I’m just so deeply saddened and disappointed that those are their views. That our alignment is so off. We are off in different universes when it comes to certain things. And, I find that profoundly sad and just something I can no longer ignore.
But, life is short – so, I need to find the goodness and light and play with those that bring that to my life. I don’t need anymore disappointment or angst. None of us do.
I have been thinking a lot about my dad lately. Gone now 28 months. I don’t know what sparked my thinking last night – maybe wondering what a staunch Republican would say about all this recent awfulness or if I had ever sat out a power outage with him? I don’t know what it was … but it got me thinking of all the things he’d seen/experienced in his lifetime of 90 years. He wasn’t great at words or writing … how do(due) you(ewe) know(no) which(witch) one(won) word to(two/too) choose (chews)? Right(write)? But give him a math problem or anything mechanical to figure out … he was your guy. I think I fell asleep thinking about our dinner table talk when I was a kid … as he’d always give us a math problem or riddle to figure out. I’m not sure I loved or hated them … but I always tried to get the answer. As dad-goofy or complex as they were, it was his way of connecting and enlightening (though that insight didn’t come until years later).
So, here I am … looking forward, a lighter address book, a lighter (but saddened) soul, happy to be warm and cozy and no longer in the dark.