Day 355
It’s not every day that something new happens or that you experience a “first”.
Such as a first step, first kiss, first date, first taste of escargot, first perfectly baked soufflé, first car … you get the picture.
Yesterday I had a first that I never thought I’d have.
During a tutor interview I was asked if I was a pedophile.
Now, before you gasp or recoil in horror … I knew before the words were even out of this man’s mouth what he was going to ask me. I could tell by his uncomfortableness (if that is such a word). His body language told me to get ready for “it”.
And, oddly, I welcomed his question. It made me think that these parents were on top of their parental game. They wanted to make sure that whomever they chose to share time with their young son was not some weirdo-creepster-sicko.
Because there are too many of those types out there.
And who was I to them? They never met me. They don’t know anyone I know. They don’t know anything about me. Why should they trust me? Why should they trust what I say?
In the nanosecond after it took for my ears to hear the words and my brain to register that he had actually asked me that and for my lips to start talking … two things came to mind:
1. If I actually was a pedophile … did he actually think I would TELL him? Would I say, “Oh, yeah. You caught me.” or “Oh, is that a problem?” Wouldn’t I just lie? Did he honestly think, that if I was, I’d say YES?!
2. I wanted to respond with humor … saying something like – “Oh, I can’t be a pedophile because I don’t even know how to spell it.” … but then it dawned on me that I was interviewing to be their son’s TUTOR and shouldn’t I have exemplary spelling skills?
These things raced through my mind before I even knew that I was saying, “No … but really how is anyone sure I’m not? You have access to my background check and fingerprints on file. I have a long list of referrals whom you can contact – and I urge you to do so. But, when all’s said and done … you just have to go with your gut and trust I am telling you the truth and trust that I’m as decent as everyone will tell you.” (Or at least I hope that is what I said!)
Which made me think. How does someone know? REALLY?
I’ve tutored with kids for over 4 years now. I was a soccer coach for both of my kids’ teams. I was a girl scout leader. I’ve been in classroom situations for 20 years. You name it. I was with kids a LOT over the years … and I was trusted with these children. These families’ most precious gifts and “possessions”.
In talking with this family it really made me think how much trust we put in others … when we really don’t KNOW. How blind it is.
And it’s just not in tutoring … we trust every day … small things.
We trust that when we are crossing the street the car sitting at the stop light doesn’t decide to run us down. We trust that when we give our credit card to the nice waitress she doesn’t take down our information and use it later for an online shopping spree. We trust when we go in for a haircut that the stylist doesn’t slip with the scissors and render us looking like Van Gogh. We trust that the guy who comes to check the sump pump is telling the truth that a new one is needed.
In any case, his question got me thinking. Trust. It’s such a powerful thing … yet leaves us so vulnerable.