Day 320
Here we are on the Eve of Destruction.
If I had a poster board I might make a sign … The End is Near … and put it atop one of the reindeer in my yard. Fancy that.
I am not sure what to do … call my kids, scoop up some espresso chip ice cream or cook up some bacon? Perhaps with Doomsday coming in a few hours I will do all of the above. And have a margarita to boot.
And if the Apocalypse doesn’t happen, I can spend the 21st eating Tums all day. A plan. Not the best plan I’ve ever had, but a plan nonetheless.
The Mayan Prophecy (the end of the world on 12/21/12) is supposed to happen tomorrow … a scant few hours from now. And if it comes true well, it’s bound to be one hell of a show. (No pun intended!)
I can tell you one thing. Just before midnight I’m putting on lip gloss. And I’m going to wear it until the aliens come, the meteors strike, the sun flares fry us, God comes a’calling, the bombs explode … or whatever is to happen – happens. I just know I’m going to go out with glossy lips! Maybe even flavored (and scented) glossy lips! Ooooh! Won’t those aliens be impressed!
I have one friend who really thinks we will have an alien encounter. If that is so … I call E.T. to be the one to come get me. I’ve always been a fan.
Another friend thinks that some global awareness will happen. Not exactly a shift of the axes but more a shift in consciousness. I, personally, think that would be a good thing.
Another friend, who will remain nameless, has enough water and supplies stored to withstand a nuclear fallout. I didn’t ask if their basement is lead-lined but if nothing happens tomorrow, they are going to be drinking bottled water and canned tuna for a long, long time. So long, in fact, that they’re going to wish the Apocalypse did happen.
I am hoping for an alien encounter. But only if they are nice aliens … like the aforementioned E.T. … I don’t want any creepy ones that are going to insert insects along our backbones or microchips that make us want to eat toilet water and worms and then our brains ooze green goo before our bodies melt from the inside out. No, not those kind of aliens.
(See? Too vivid of an imagination! I could never watch horror movies … I’d never sleep!)
I’ve seen enough disaster movies (I LOVE them!) to know that I am ill-equipped if the world is going to be encased in ice and snow. Even with all the clothes I have on – I will not be prepared. I can barely stand 39 degrees. Sub-zero temps for a prolonged period of time would do me in quickly. I’d be freeze-dried in seconds!
I don’t foresee any tsunamis getting me … unless one happens on Lake Michigan. And well, an epic flood could happen … I am kind of near a river. But I have my new handy-dandy sump pump … that should be able to keep up with floods of biblical proportions for a few minutes at least! And well, any number of natural disasters could happen and I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!
And just in case aliens or God do come visiting, I’ll put on a pot of tea. And if they don’t … well then, I can snuggle in and drink my tea and eat my Tums and see what kind of global awareness I can come up with for myself!