January 22, 2025 ~ Wednesday (cold/snow on the ground/icy … you know – winter!)
The lobster lost a day somewhere/somehow … but here I am now.
It’s funny how one word can change your view on things. Funny, how that one word is the same as what it changes … perspective.
I’ve had this word in mind for a few days … and today I saw it twice in what I was reading and thought about it some more and well, today my thoughts are all on how we see and how we CAN see, the world around us.
It’s all about choice and putting things in relation to other things. Our viewpoint. Our take.
My washing machine has been dying for a while. It flooded the kitchen for the third time (or was it the fourth or fifth?) yesterday and I finally decided it wasn’t going to “get any better” so, the new washer arrives tomorrow. I was upset at first (those things are pricey!) but then I put it into perspective that … I have a washing machine. And have always had one. And I have enough money to get a new one. Instead of being upset about the one that is on its way out (though not joyful about it), I chose to be grateful instead that my life is so easy. I can’t imagine not having the ease of having an in-home washing machine and thought of how many people don’t have this luxury.
It snowed again and it’s cold. I, as I’ve said, am not a winter gal. And I grumbled a LOT (as in constantly) this cold, snowy, long (and dark) weekend. Did that help me feel any better? No. It, more than likely, made me feel grumpier and less patient (with everything). Snow? Yuck – who wants and likes snow? I felt like the Grinch … when his heart was two sizes too small. But this morning, I woke up and saw on the online news … videos of kids in Houston, New Orleans, and Pensacola playing in the snow … making snow angels, jumping around, and laughing with glee. They were thrilled! What a difference perspective makes.
And so it goes.
While driving today to meet my sister for coffee, I encountered a lane closure on the road I was turning onto. Did anyone let me in? Yes – but not until a parade of cars went by. I yelled at one driver after the next … and then laughed at myself. Yeah – short wick these days – as I realized that that wasn’t doing anyone any good. Especially me! The drivers passed, oblivious, and my cursing them out was doing nothing but causing me angst. So – I took a few deep breaths and felt better. I got where I was going – no worse the wear – and probably just a moment later than had someone else let me cut into the line of cars on that road.
Why had I gotten so perturbed? Irrationality. No patience. Not seeing the bigger picture. That all needs to change (as it’s just not productive or healthy).
I know that deep breathing releases tension and calms us down – no matter what the situation. So why don’t I do that more often? (Note to self: do that more often!) We are wired with the fight or flight response … and calming down allows ourselves to quiet our nerves and choose more constructive responses. A good thing to remember in any situation. (And calmness, when facing an adversary, is disarming – giving you more control.)
I have a dog who has taken to eating the frozen poop he digs up, from under the snow, in the yard. Yes – grossness to me, but an oh-so-tasty treat to Mac. And as much as this has (and does) bother me and as much as I command him to drop “it”… I’ve come to realize that I can do that without getting so riled up that I’ll cause myself a heart attack. By changing the perspective from one of frustration to one of guarding my health and letting the grossness of the situation go and dropping it from a 10 to a 1 (on a scale of 1:10) … I’m allowing myself to choose a different reaction. Yes – it’s supremely gross but it’s not going to kill either one of us.
And so it goes with everything else right now. My expectations of HOW this returning President (and his admin) should act/do/be like/etc … are never going to be met. EVER. They all seem incapable of meeting them (for one reason or another) … and I am incapable of controlling their behaviors or the situations to make that happen/to have those expectations met. I can’t control how others behave or what happens … but I can control how I react and respond to it all.
It doesn’t mean I condone their actions or behaviors ~ it just means I’m not going to allow them to make me upset. And, god knows, how easily that happens these days as there is so much awfulness (corruption, inequality, ugliness, etcetera – etcetera ad infinitum and ad nauseam).
I have a magnet on my fridge with the quote, “Today, I will not stress over that of which I have no control.” And, politically, right now – that’s pretty much everything. So, more deep breathing for me.
And, if I don’t want to go crazy (or allow others to hold my emotions hostage) – I need to put things more into perspective. As I said, my wick is short these days. I need to see the bigger picture – to have a more mature and broader take on what is (instead of a negative/defensive gut reaction) and to those things that are upsetting to me. This all too, shall pass. Maybe not for a while – but it will. Nothing lasts forever. And while I may not like how things are/will be going – and I can’t change them – I can change my perspective on it all … in turn, making it all less crazy/invasive/upsetting to me.
How’s your perspective these days?