September 24, 2020 – Thursday (gray, heavy cotton candy clouds, waiting for a storm)
Today I fed … COWS!
As much as I’d like to, I’m just not sure I can convey how happy that makes me! That sounds so silly … and more than a trifle weird … but true.
If you could see my smile you’d think I just won the lottery. Well, in a way, I did! I was coming home from running my last errands before self-quarantining after my pre-op covid test tomorrow (cataract surgery next week – woohoo!) and pulled off the road and stopped by the farm uphill from my place – as the cows were out. The minute they saw me by the apple trees they started moseying over to the fence.
Too many flies covered those placid faces and too much cow-snot or saliva were on their broad, thick noses … but I petted them anyway. I cut into quarters a handful of apples. I used my car key (changing over to my handy-dandy pocket knife I had in my car) and cut off the wormy parts and handed them over and through the charged-wires to gaping mouths – so ready for sweet treats!
I’m not sure if the farmer saw me or heard my giggles – but I hope he knows how much pure joy I got out of my little stop over.
I wish I liked living where I do SO much more. I think if I were 10-15 years older, it would be a great place to be. I’d be slower, more retired, more settled with what I do. (I hope.) But, I’m chomping at the bit to go and do and shop and see a museum and have good food and that’s just not going to happen here on the island.
I do however love the beauty of this island … the bluffs and hills and green. The tall trees, the quiet, the slowness and well … here, we have cows.
Aside from the lack of “summer” … it’s unfortunate that there is such an “inconvenience factor” for me. I’ve said it a million times … if I’ve said it once … I hate that a typical “shopping day” takes me 7 hours. I try to leave at a decent time and then my day is spent with 4 or 5 hours driving/ferry/traffic … it costs $25 + gas … and I end up with 2-3 hours of actual shopping, if that. And, while doing so – I’m running (like a lunatic) from one place to another so I can get all my stops “in” and done so I can catch the ferry (without having to wait hours) and be home at a decent time (that rarely happens). I also have to plan where I’m going if getting groceries and do that last so they don’t sit in my car for hours. And along the way I sometimes grab take out cuz I’m starving and it’s taking longer than expected. All in all – it’s not your quick trip to the craft store!
Covid has helped with my need to go “overseas” (to the mainland) as I don’t like going anywhere these days unless I can just stay in my car and zip around. So, the need to go over and shop or wander has been corralled. However, I am stuck due to this virus – here – instead of somewhere else … or somewhere else looking around, checking things out. I keep telling myself … all in due time.
But I’m antsy. I want to know where my next landing spot is.
I keep thinking that all this time … all these months past (and to come) … all this isolation/quarantining/social distancing will make me hone in on what I really want next. What is important to me? Because the next move will be where I hope to settle into. Put down roots … get involved … maybe meet someone … reopen my businesses … play.
I don’t play here. I was involved, a bit, but am no longer. It’s too personal and difficult to explain. There has been a lot of loss for me on this island. But, a lot of growth, as well. Either way, I’m past needing to move on.
I have been doing more research (table top vs in person) and am narrowing my options … revisiting places I had questions about … seeking out new ones … saying no to others that I thought might be “it”. It’s a process … and I’ve been doing this leg of it for a long time! I just so want to complete this journey!
I know there will be hills and lush greenery … warmer summer temps and some skin-softening humidity. I’d like hardwoods and good soil … along with some body of water (it can be a pond!) … and a nice, little, involved community. Beautiful autumns and crisp (but not necessarily snowy) winters and long, flowering springs.
I’d like friendly, decent people as town-folk and neighbors … some sort of countryside nearby – orchards, wineries, pasturelands. And, a bigger city and airport about an hour away. I’ll find it. It’s out there.
The one thing I know for sure … there will be cows.