June 12, 2020 … Friday (Day 1,234,567,890 of Covid-19 Quarantining)
I am sick. I am tired. I am sick and tired.
Of Covid-19.
And is it Covid-19, Covid19 or Covid 19? I’ve seen it all ways! And being one who is obsessed with grammar (even if I do not do it well myself!) … this is annoying! But, any way you spell it … I am sick and tired of it. Aren’t we all?
And I didn’t even have to sit in a 2.5 hour line (this time) to take a test to confirm that! Innately I knew! And there is a new term for this … and even though I have self-diagnosed, I know I have …
Quarantine Fatigue … aka: The Blues.
This has been a week. From (omg, I’m such an idiot to think of it as a low point) Trump wielding a Bible like it was a newspaper he was going to swat a fly with … to the vandalism and violence during the protests due to George Floyd’s horrific murder by a police officer, to the in-our-faces racism in this country, to our President’s conspiracy theory belief of an elderly protestor, to Mom Nature going crazy around the globe, to our stock market plummeting and our unemployment sky rocketing (twice as high as the all time high during the Great Depression), to more Covid cases/deaths, to voting snafus in Georgia, to other political mayhem …
It was too much to take. It was a week.
And then, to either bring me a bit of peace or heartbreak (or both) … I had an injured fawn in my yard.
I noticed her on Monday … thought she was lying oddly against a neighbor’s fencing. I watched her all day and until it got dark – hoping Mama Deer had just left her while she was off grazing. But when the rains started in just before 2am and baby was still out in the open/too near the road/not sheltered at all, I went over and picked up her spotted little feather-light body (all eyes and legs) and brought her into my yard. That was a first for me. I’ve never touched a deer before. There was nothing to her. I put her under the canopy of the big maple – on the lawn next to some bushes and flowers. She was perfect. Except I knew that something had to be wrong for Mama to leave her there. I live where there are woods/lush over growth … this was not a place to shelter a fawn.
I watched her all day/every day – from my deck, from my dining and living rooms – sometimes with binoculars to get a closer look. I worried about her when night fell and when I figured she was still alone. I so badly wanted her to have warmth and comfort. I was in touch with my vet’s office and knew that mama deer leave their babies. I learned that if they are in distress, the baby’s ears fold back like spent flower petals. Her ears were fine. She was perky. Mama must have come under the cloak of darkness and let baby (Jane Doe) nurse. I felt so relieved.
But, I never saw her stand up and I wondered if mama had told her to lie low. But when I saw her do a GI Joe crawl on her inside-out (as they are) front elbows and drag her little spotted and striped body a few feet across the lawn … with no movement in her back legs … I knew something was definitely wrong. And I knew I had to do something.
So, the wildlife people were texted photos and I was not given much hope. It looked like her legs were broken and possibly her spine. She didn’t seem in any pain so I figured she had no feeling in the back end. Had she been hit by a car? My heart fell … again … like it had all week … to another low.
My vet’s angel techs came out and assessed her and determined she needed to be put down. So, I softly scratched her head and told her she was beautiful and loved and they gently crated her and took her back to the clinic to do the deed. I was thankful I didn’t have to witness yet another euthanasia. She was such a perfect, sweet little creature; I just couldn’t bear it if I had to watch.
So, today I am at home … alone … again. No dogs. No baby deer. Watching the news and more Covid cases/hospitalizations/deaths (1000/day in the US) … and people are antsy and wanting to “open up” and are being incredibly stupid and selfish. Yeah, I get it – I’m sick of this, too. But the authorities are saying that ANOTHER 100,000 people will DIE by September if we keep this up. Seriously people … 200,000 of us in this country will be dead! It’s needless. It’s insanity! I hate it as much as you do but … stay home! Stay in! Tell everyone you know to do the same. OMG … no one really needs to go to Target or get their nails or hair done!
Stay home and let’s quell this stupid virus! Yeah – it’s making us all crazy or crazed or antsy … but sometimes, if we let it … it allows us to reflect and slow down. It allows us to connect. It allows us to breathe and calm down and just BE.
And sometimes it makes us creative. Find something else to do. Start a hobby. DO something. Become active in a local campaign – you can help from home. Clean your house. Alphabetize your spices. Write your (even non-existent) grandchildren letters to open up on their wedding day or their 21st birthday. Paint something. Adopt a pet.
Today I’m rapping … so, get your bad-ass on and rap along! (And if you don’t like rap – you can also read it like a Dr. Seuss poem!)
Quarantine Fatigue aka: The Blues …
Another day … I am at home … all alone. Come on Covid – throw me a bone!
It’s chilly and gray and Junuary cold. Ugh, oh man … this is getting real old!
It’s gloomy and rainy – this is not Summer! Our temps are 50 – man, what a bummer!
No visiting friends or having guest dogs … I’m just cleaning the attic – oooh, Lincoln Logs!
I could go for a walk. I could phone for a talk. I could talk on the phone when I’m out on a walk.
I could sing me a song or dance me a dance. I could sing and dance like I have ants in my pants!
But I don’t want to walk or talk or sing or dance. And I certainly don’t want ants in these pants!
I’ve got Quarantine Fatigue aka: The Blues … and I’ve got them bad from my head to my shoes.
I could do a jumble, crossword or wuzzle … but my brain is mush and can’t do a puzzle.
I could read an old book. I could cut my hair. I could purge my closet and see what (still fits) to wear.
But I don’t want to puzzle, purge, read or snip. I’m getting antsy yet feel like a drip.
I’ve got Quarantine Fatigue aka: The Blues… and I’ve got them bad from my head to my shoes.
I could cook stew or roast … but, my expertise (lately) has just been toast.
I could learn to speak Andalusian or French or learn how to use a crescent wrench.
But I parlo italiano and I know how to use tools. And come on, it’s Summer – I just want to jump in some pools!
I could very well do more exercise or just sit around and swat some flies.
I could totally do it – every bit and all … but need to pace cuz I’ll be here come Fall (2021).
I’ve got Quarantine Fatigue aka: The Blues … and I’ve got them bad from my head to my shoes.
Funny thing is – I’ve been barefoot since mid March! Stay home! Stay healthy!