August 10, 2018 – Friday
It is a beautiful and warm morning on the island (rare for us) … the sun is peeking over the mountains to the east … I’m still in pj’s eating breakfast (leftover chicken and noodles from last night’s dinner) – yum. I’m at my dining room table and am watching the hummingbirds flit and sip at the container of coral snap dragons on the deck as well as a fat, lazy fly trying to find its way outside through my window pane (try the door, honey – it’s open).
And that leads me to ask NOT, who let the dogs out? But … who the hell let them all in?
Apparently, it was ME cuz I’m the only one here. Want a dog? I’ve got several … today, this weekend, this week, this month, this SUMMER! If you’ve heard the saying The Dog Days of Summer … they are HERE! At MY house! In this yard! On this deck! In this house! IN MY BED!
I haven’t been sleeping well. And I wonder why? The poodle-doodlette sisters were here last week … they are big standard poodle-sized doodlettes. They doodle all day … as does, as of this week, the damn rooster who somehow came to live next door (in a ‘hood where roosters are a no-no). The guy has been doodling for HOURS each of the mornings this week – starting around 5:30 am. Is he confused or over zealous? I’m not sure; but let’s just say I’m not a fan of the rooster. I’ve now given him the name I give all roosters … Sunday Dinner. (He is probably Sunday Dinner VI). We’ll see how this pans out (hopefully, with a nice gravy and mashed potatoes).
Back to the doodling … the dogs, not the rooster; they insisted on sleeping on my bed. It’s bad enough to share a full-sized bed with Gert – the land manatee/pug – but add on 2 doodle dogs and the bed gets smaller by the minute. And, if you’ve never slept with a dog – somehow even the smallest one who is light and as airy as a cloud during the day turns into a 40# sack of cement once asleep on your bed. Truth. So, Gert was dismissed to her dog bed and the others were told – unsuccessfully – (1,400 times over the course of the night) to go to their (OWN) bed.
Now, it’s doable to sleep with doodles … even two of them … but then add in a possessive (but sweet) Border Collie and a playful (omg, so playful) King Charles Cavalier Spaniel puppy and the bed ends up being about a 4″ square slumber pad for moi.
Sleeping (or not sleeping) aside … it’s the quantity I somehow accumulated last week. And, as I write, I have learned my lesson (or not) – STOP SAYING YES!!
But they are dogs … they are sweet and cuddly and loving. (Well, most of them!) … how can I say NO?! I had the doodlettes, my two (Pug/Lab), another Lab, the Border Collie, the fox dog, and 2 itty bitty, teeny tiny Chihuahuas (who spent most of their time in my arms or in my room so no one would think they were snacks!). Yeah – count them up … 9 dogs! The following day the spaniel arrived along with a 13 week old (gorgeous) black Lab/Golden mix puppy. The doodles left that evening and the fox dog was a day-timer only … and thank god I had 2 puppies to wear each other out in constant, playful wrestling … but still … omg … LOTS OF critters!!!! And with those days behind me, today is a breeze … I’m “only” (ha ha … yeah, ONLY) at 6 (including my two) … all regulars … all know each other and all are “good dogs”. (I only take GOOD dogs!) I tell them all to behave, and to be nice … and they do just that. We are family.
But, when you get past the quantity of 4 – as I’ve found out first-hand – the pack seems to expand exponentially! At times it seems like no one is here but me (dog snooze-fest) and other times it is a wild, blur of running, playing, barking craziness … not too far off from the stampede sequence in Jumanji! Heaven help the squirrel who isn’t fast enough!
The darling of the bunch is the Kind Charles Spaniel … as in DAR-LING!!!! So, so damn sweet, cute, loving. But he is a puppy so he always wants to play … as in ALWAYS. CONSTANTLY. ALL THE TIME. ENDLESSLY. Except when he’s sleeping … which is about 12 minutes every hour. I’ve thrown his orange “bouncy thing” 14 million times in the last week. I’ve got a call now into the doctor for rotator problems and PT. (Seriously.) I love having him here but, this dog pees on his legs. He can’t help it – he’s a puppy – he’s still learning. But, he STINKS! And, I certainly don’t want him on my BED! So, when I’m not throwing the ball, a gutted and bedraggled Lambchop, the orange bouncy thing or kissing his face (which I do A LOT.) … I am giving him a bath … either in the shower with me or in the kitchen sink. He is “fixed” but somehow still likes a good humping … so dog beds, pillows, throw rugs, and poor chewed up Lambchop and slow-moving Gert are targets of his lust. More than not he tends to sit on the chair next to me at the dining table – watching me as I type (waiting for me to throw something) – until his big, watery eyes get heavy with puppy drowsiness and he slumps down into peaceful doggy slumber. As just happened. I need to type faster as I’ve got 11 minutes before he wakes up!
There is a lab here who I have for the ENTIRE MONTH. I realized this morning (hence this post – I have to vent somehow!) that I have another 3 WEEKS of her here. She is old, she is sweet, she is deaf and stubborn and clueless and most notably … she is food aggressive and possessive. The first time I had her here she ate a dozen muffins I had in a basket on the dining table for my bnb guests … and an apple that was on the counter … and my sandwich which was also on the counter. So, yeah – she’s a counter surfer and if you’re not used to that, it takes a while to REMEMBER not to leave ANYTHING out on the counter. Not the fruit bowl, not fixings for lunch or dinner, not one little m&m … NOTHING. God have mercy if I even have a cherry pit or part of an eggshell in my sink … wild-eyed she stakes out her claim and will guard that part of the kitchen. Her turned- white masked face and wide eyes say it all … Stand away – THIS SINK IS MINE! Heaven forbid that there be a wayward piece of kibble on the kitchen floor from someone’s dish as she’ll find it … she’ll hone in on that morsel and will pretty much gut anyone in her way to sucking it up. Hence, Gert’s little tiff yesterday. (She’s fine.)
But, as sweet and old as she is … she is exhausting. I am always on alert! Vigilance is now a way of life. I’ve nicknamed her Duck Dog as she only eats raw, ground duck patties … hence the 86 frozen duck patties in my freezer! I might lose weight this month – there’s no room for ice cream!
Then there’s the Australian terrier who has so many issues … diabetes, neurological issues, an extra long tongue, doggy Parkinsons (if that’s a thing) and dietary issues and timed feedings. His head seems to be attached by a spring and he is as akin to a bobble-head dog as any dog can be. He always dons a red vest over his little rust- colored, wiry terrier-furred, fox-like body … scruffy fur wisps escaping from under the vest in all directions cause a scraggly, disheveled look about him. In looks he is the dog version of Fagin from Oliver! His feet turn up and he dances/prances when he walks … reminding me of a marionette or jaunty Englishman or Scotsman going off to the pub (or coming home after one too many pints).
The Border Collie and I have a special relationship. He is one of my favs, my Sleepy Badger … sweet and lovely and my protector. We walk 2x a week and other days, I’m lucky enough to have him here with the clan. He’s outside now on deer and squirrel duty. He is easy and loving and he’s the one I give the most massages to as he seems to enjoy them more than anyone else – or at least he shows his gratitude the best. Perks of the job – for us both!
Gert is easy – she eats, takes her meds and bumbles along – thwarting unwanted advances and finding the best spot on the rug for a snooze. She is aging daily (aren’t we all?!) but is still going along. She is constantly underfoot and in the wrong place at the wrong time but it takes her so long to get there, that I just gently move her aside or jump over her. I’m glad she’s not taller as hurdles are not my thing! Clara is continuing on despite all of her issues … she is still not eating well (nothing now but hot dogs and/or chicken, hand fed) and one of these days the cancer (or one of the other issues) will take her … but for now she is the Alpha of the pack (one down from ME) and lets dogs know when she doesn’t want to be bothered (which is pretty much all the time). No biting, no fighting – just a snarly upturned lip that seems to get the message out of: DO NOT BOTHER ME – and it works! Everyone leaves her alone – even the pups, which I find so interesting!
My favorite dog arrives today for a week. This dog is the epitome of what a dog is … sweet, gentle and 90# of pure doggy love. She is a gorgeous, big golden and absolutely lovely. As long as I don’t have her out on a leash – she’s good! She’s the one who bolted (last year) from a dead stop after seeing a bunny and lifted me off my feet and dragged me down the road. Yeah -that was fun! My bent index finger will never be the same but she has given me thousands of kisses to make up for that mishap since! She can be sound asleep and then wake up, come over to me and plant a big, wet kiss on me and then go back and lie down for more nap time. She is pure joy. I can’t wait for her arrival … what’s one more furry body?
Everyone’s been fed and it’s now, apparently, mid-morning nap time. I was thinking this would be the perfect time to do something else, except the spaniel just woke up … so, I guess it’s time to give him a bath or throw something!
I love what I do … and I love my “Dog Days of Summer”.