January 23, 2017 (repost from January 10, 2017 – system glitch)
Apparently now is the time for me to become a spy or secret agent, private detective or some such profession where it is best not to be recognized.
Today I was in the vet’s office … Gert is now fine, but at the time she was having a rough time coming out of a seizure episode and I needed to get her some help. I carried her into the office and told the two front-desk gals that we didn’t have an appointment and what was going on and both asked if this was my dog?
Now, that would be understandable for a lot of people, but I’ve been in that practice twice a month for the last year and they know me! Yes, they know me … however, neither of the gals recognized me since they hadn’t seen me “hairless” yet. If I wasn’t so worried about the dog, I would have laughed.
However, when my doctor came out and scanned the room for “me” … her eyes came over me and then passed without even an inkling of recognition! I called out to her while pointing to my head and we both had a good laugh. We somehow came to the conclusion that all I needed was an orange jumpsuit to complete the new look.
Funny, how much having (or in my case, not having) hair alters one’s appearance and recognizability!
I’m now 10 days into this little hair experiment and am no longer totally “naked” … no more creepy, clammy, tacky chicken-skin scalp for me! I’m now at the “velvet” stage.
Which sounds lovely, right? Smooth one way when touched – like a horse’s nose – and spiky when petted against the nap. When I think of “velvet” I think of a plush purple number I’ve worn in years past during the holidays … or of deer antlers … or Elvis paintings.
However, when I look in the mirror I don’t think holidays, Bambi or Elvis … instead I end up thinking I look far more like Curly from the Three Stooges than any woman should. Have I said yet that this is not my best look?
But, I’m past the initial stage and growth has begun and today I’m thinking I’m now channeling Demi Moore’s look in G.I. Jane … of course sans the bone structure, chiseled chin line and muscles.
So, yes, I have velvet but I still look more like Curly than Demi … but I’m moving in the right direction. At least I am back to being female!
When I “took this on” … this self-imposed challenge, I wanted to put myself into another’s shoes … at least in some small way … to glean some insight, to walk a new path, to gain familiarity with something so foreign to me. I’ve had a few “pixie” cuts in my day but nothing ever this drastic.
Tonight when watching President Obama’s Farewell Speech, I had one of those goose bump moments when he quoted Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, ‘”You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”‘
Exactly. That is what I’m trying to do … gain that personal understanding. I feel a need to know what’s it’s like to not have hair – if only once in my lifetime. And, hopefully, this will be the ONLY time as I won’t willingly do this again. (My head is too cold … and the “ugly” factor is rearing it’s militant looking head!)
This year I’m wanting to finish my book … Surviving Grief ~ Stories and Lessons from a Remedial Griever. I’m considering adding a sub-title … Do as I Say, Not as I Did! It’ll be a compilation – funny, moving, workbook, advice – and knowing that grief comes after any kind of loss (job, love, life, a move, ability, body functionality, tragedy, etc.) … I thought getting out the ol’ razor (or in my case a brand, spanking new one) would be better than poking out an eye or chopping off an arm or any other sort of thing. I’ll just go so far in the name of research!
Am I grieving the loss of my hair? Not exactly … but it’s still early on! Catch me next month!
In any case … I’m going down this path and we’ll see where it takes me. How patient I am with this whole process. What I learn. What I gain. How things go along the way. Today the gals not recognizing me was a surprise to me cuz I am on the inside looking out – I think I look the same as I did last week. I don’t even think about me not having a head of hair (even as thin as it was, it was something!) and it was a bit shocking to me not to have them know who I was!
So, one week or so down … many, many more to go. I haven’t figured out how to add images to this post (yet) so, if anyone wants to see pics … go to my Facebook page.
And until the next post … I’ll be contemplating spyhood, feeling the velvet and trying to recognize myself all while trying to keep a sense of humor during this bit of research lunacy.
Nyuck … nyuck … nyuck.