Day 359
As much as I think I would have loved to have lived in the 1950’s … all Leave It To Beaver-esque … I probably, more like undoubtedly, would have been miserable.
I don’t sleep well now … how would I have gotten any sleep sleeping on rollers? Every woman went to bed with a headful of curlers/rollers. Every woman! Every night! Egad!
And in the morning you undid the rollers and teased the heck out of your hair and sprayed your head with an entire can of Aqua Net aerosol hair spray. I wouldn’t have had any hair left. Nor lungs!
If married, how could I sleep (even without the sleep depriving rollers) with my husband on a double bed? There’s barely enough room now for me and a small pug dog … let alone another human being of 200 lbs! And add in some sticky hot summer nights or a child or a furry dog or cat … it sounds dreadful!
And I can’t even begin to think about the long-line bras they wore that squished whatever midriff fat you had up or down, leaving you looking as if you had two sno-cone holders taped to your chest … the bottom points facing outward! Oh my! Where do you think Madonna got her ideas? Not unlike the BB gun out of the movie Christmas Story … you could poke an eye out with those things!
And … who invented those rubberized bath-mat-like girdles!Seriously. They were more akin to turn of the century (and I’m referring to the 14th century) torture devices. How did those women ever breathe? Or go to the bathroom? It took 20 minutes to wrestle out of one of those things and another 20 to wrestle and pull it back on! If you had a bladder infection you’d spend you entire day in the bathroom!
And nylons. Just thinking about those things makes me break out into a sweat! One of anxiety and of adverse reaction. The pulling on, the runs, the garter belts, the washing, the cost!
The mere thought of all of that makes me itch. Well, makes me itch more. I am allergic to nylon products … elastic and nylon fabrics.
Today I must have had more than my fair share of them on me as I couldn’t wait until I got home from work to “detox” my body! For the last few hours I’ve felt like I must have rolled around in a patch of poison ivy as I am an itchy, itching mess. When I got home I practically dove into a bottle of lotion after ripping off my entire outfit – even if it only had a teeny bit of nylon in it.
From the lotion bottle I dove into all cotton apparel. Ahhhh. The commercial has it right … the touch, the feel of cotton, it’s the fabric of our lives. At least it’s the fabric of my non-itchy life!
Anyway … as much as I loved the cotton dresses of those by-gone days I’d have had to have been naked underneath them and barefoot to survive! Good thing I was born when I was … I don’t have to contend with rolling my hair or ripping it out, breathing in unwanted chemicals, stuffing my body into torture treatment undergarments or wrangling my sausage legs into nylon tubes.
I’ve thrown out all my curlers and panty hose … my straight hair, sports bras and yoga pants suit me just fine!