Day 244
Today was the coldest day I’ve experienced in months and months. NOT the snow that Denver woke up to this morning … but it has been in the 40’s all day with gray skies and high humidity -meaning it’s been damp and cold.
It was not exactly the perfect day … for a garage sale … or a memorial service … or a high school firelight rally and fireworks. But that was what went on today.
One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. Today’s sale was a bit late in the season but, October or not, we cleaned out and purged and put out our cast-off junk onto our driveways in hopes that other people would come by and pay us for the stuff … unable to live without whatever that dollar or two or twenty would buy.
The typical garage sale is when neighbors come over and nose around and joke. The political candidates come by to shake hands and pass out flyers. Children leave with wonderful treasures. And, if you are lucky you find a lid to the crock pot you’ve saved for the past ten years (saved just in case you found a lid to replace the one you broke the first time you used the crock pot). Everyone is jovial and camaraderie is high.
And the stuff that is left over, the stuff that everyone can live without will go to the donation bin and eventually find a home somewhere else … and everyone is content over what was sold or purchased.
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And though far away, it was not the nicest day for a memorial service, either. Today in Denver was my friend’s husband’s service. He finally lost an eleven year battle with cancer. I was not there. At least I was not there in body … but I was there in spirit. And, as much as I would have loved to have heard the stories and given the family hugs … I’m also relieved that I had the excuse to be 1000 miles away because I do not do well at funerals. They have never been “my thing”.
And that’s not saying that they are anyone’s “thing” … but I do not do well. When my kids were younger we knew a few parents who passed away. A death is never easy on anyone … but I remember, so clearly, how devastated those children were at the loss of their mother or father. I watched how it affected them for years before and after and my heart broke along with their own.
Along the way, we lost friends … and family members … and then Tim. We didn’t have a funeral for Tim. We did other things – good thing. I don’t think I could have done it. I was more than grateful to oblige his wishes. In any case – since Tim’s passing I’ve been to a few services but then made excuses for the others. I couldn’t bring myself to go … and sadly, there have been too many. The whole “thing” is too final. I am still too vulnerable and I’m sure people don’t understand that. But I think my heart would break all over again – just as the glue is finally beginning to set and I don’t want to risk it … as selfish as that may be.
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Tonight was my high school’s pre-homecoming firelight rally … not the nicest night for that, either. I read about it in the paper last week and had every intention of going over tonight just to see what it was like … as the last one I attended was 38 years ago. I thought it would be fun to go back, since I’m now in town, and see what it is like nowadays.
When I was in high school the night before homecoming we had a big pep rally in the outdoor stadium and huge initials of the school were lit on fire and there was a big bon fire and it was fabulous and exciting.
I can’t imagine they still allow that … but I wanted to see what they actually did. But I forgot all about the festivities until I heard the fireworks … and I’m too far away to have made it in time and I was far too cozy to get dressed and go out into the damp, cold, quasi-rainy night. So, I sit here just imagining it was as wonderful as I remember it being all those years ago.
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In any case – I missed the memorial service and the rally and the fireworks … but I can imagine that friends and family gathered together to share in these celebrations and passages of life … and were filled with hope and community and spirit.
Sounds sort of like the same connectedness as at the garage sale but without all the junk.