Day 221
Funerals. I am not a funeral gal. Never have been and as far as I can guess … never will be.
I do like the “closure” they afford people. But that aside, I’m not a huge fan. And the whole burial thing just completely creeps me out.
And yet, I live across from a cemetery. Go figure.
Today was another funeral across the street. I watched the back hoe digging away a day or so ago and was working at the table when I started hearing singing. I live not far from the local high school and I thought it was a bunch of goofy guys singing on their way to their car – going out for lunch or something. But as I looked out my front window, I realized a gathering of people was across the street and they were singing at someone’s graveside service.
And that’s not unusual. I’ve heard singing before. I’ve heard Taps before. But this group was singing … “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”!
Now how sweet was that?!
Someone, apparently a big fan, was being sung to during their final good-bye. I thought that was really something.
When Tim died we didn’t have a traditional funeral. We did other things instead. The weekend after his passing we had a thrown- together memorial on some grounds of a monastery somewhere in Colorado. I do not know how I got there. Do not know where it is now. Couldn’t find it again to save my life … and I have no idea why I was driving myself in the first place. I was out of my mind … and yet I was driving. Really stupid.
In some moment of sheer grief-induced insanity I thought that a balloon release would be a nice thing. It was a very small gathering of people Tim wanted present and I thought we could each say something, if so moved, and then release our balloon.
However, somehow between the store and the site the balloons got tangled into this horrible, twisted, knotty mess and I emerged from the car with a huge bouquet of balloons that were so tied together nothing but a miracle (or a pocket knife) could undo.
Thankfully someone presented a knife and after we cut the balloons apart we all stood looking like circus rejects with balloons tethered by 5 inch strings. It was like looking around the circle at 20 people, each with 2 heads.
Not the best of memorials.
We also “Lit the Night”. We sent out a booklet and a candle to our friends and family who were scattered all over the country and Europe with instructions to light the candle on a specific night, at a specific mountain time and in that way, we’d all light our candles together and be together in spirit celebrating Tim. I had some wonderful comments come back on that night. What people did … it was lovely.
As we neared the end of his life, Tim told me one day he’d like either a 2-day drunken Irish wake or a kickball barbecue. Knowing he was amped up on morphine we opted for the kickball barbecue. And if a memorial barbecue could be fabulous … it was. Tim would have loved it.
And isn’t that what it’s all about anyway … celebrating the life of the person who is no longer with us? I’d like to think that most people get a celebration that they had some say in. A regular funeral would have been so un-Tim. And as heartbreaking as the reason was behind any of what we did … it couldn’t have turned out any better. (Well, except the balloons!)
So, whomever was at the gathering today singing the baseball song … kudos to you. Good for you for honoring your loved one in such a way. I’m sure they were with you … wearing their new Angels jersey.