Day 182
Oh dear god.
I hate to admit it, but yesterday I wore a muumuu.
Well, not a conventional muumuu, of sorts, but a short jersey-knit summer dress thing. I’m not a dress person. But it was so hot (again) and my 2 pairs of shorts were both in the laundry … I was left to don paint clothes, shorts that no longer fit (too big – yay!), capris, or this dress thing.
And I say it’s a “dress thing” because I’m not sure, exactly, that it is a dress. It could be pajamas for all I know! Seriously. I got it off the clearance rack and so don’t know what department it hailed from. Yesterday I could have been walking around, in public, in my pajamas.
Well, that wouldn’t be the first time.
Let me explain.
Eons ago I went out to CO to visit my sister. She was working at a bar and told me to come by when her shift was finished. I didn’t bring any “bar clothes” with me, so I rifled through her closet and came up with what I thought was a really cute outfit.
Okay … before I describe it, you have to take into account that this was the 70’s. The clothing was hideous at best.
I put on (what I thought was super cute) a rust colored long-sleeved, cross-over top that tied at the side and matching pants. It was soft and comfy. Nice! I threw on some jewelry … probably something big and equally hideous and went to meet her and her friends.
I walked into the bar and was making my way through to the table where about 12 of her friends were and she shouted out, “You’re wearing my PAJAMAS!” I never lived that one down. Whatever. At least I didn’t show up wearing a pair of babydolls!
And then there was the time I was out in the park trying to find Mr. T … the elusive wild turkey that was roaming the neighborhood and everyone had seen him – except me! I thought I saw him so I ran out into the wind and weather (in my pjs) only to scare a few runners. Ha!
Anyway … back to the muumuu/pajama/ dress thing.
Janet Jackson had her “wardrobe malfunction” … and I have also. Who cares?
And so it goes … my slow slide into the “don’t” photograph images in Glamour magazine … first wearing pajamas, then wearing this muumuu/dress thing. Sigh.
I had no choice but to wear what I did yesterday … telling myself that it really wasn’t THAT BAD. Convincing myself that my Katrina the Sumo Wrestler legs that are attached to my torso were not sooo visible. In any case, I am very persuasive. I convincingly talked myself into wearing it for the comfort factor (as I said, it was ungodly hot again – still) and I wasn’t about to wrestle myself into some spandex yoga capris or once again put on my paint clothes if I wasn’t painting … and I told myself that people would be looking at the muumuu/quasi pj/dress thing and NOT my tree trunk legs. Again, whatever!
I was called STURDY as a baby … and STURDY I have stayed. Sigh. Willow-like I am not.
In any case … I moved to the midwest and within a month the fashion faux pas began. It started with wearing a 1990’s tube top and then a muumuu.
WHAT IS NEXT? … Curlers in my hair at the grocery store?