Day 104
Last night I was tough on my hands. I did everything but give myself a knuckle sandwich.
I am getting used to my gas range. I have never really (except when visiting my parents) cooked on a gas range – ever. And coming off of an electric range at high altitude to a gas range at pretty much sea level (give or take a few hundred feet) I now know where the term “cooking with gas” comes from. It is speedy and HOT! And did I say SPEEDY?!
If I were a hairier creature – which I am hardly – I would have singed off any unwanted hair on my knuckles and forearms last night while cooking up my zucchini with Parmesan. As it was I did not … but some sizzling oil spit out of the pan and landed on the knuckles of my left hand. Wrong place at the right time … or however that saying goes. I have been good at burning things lately … including myself. Sizzle, sizzle, char. Ow!
Later … I was moving boxes – as I’ve been known to do lately – and managed to quite successfully crush my left hand against the door frame as I was trying to manuever a too large/too heavy box of kitchen utensils that a) I should have, no doubt about it, given to Goodwill when in Denver or b) not used in eons or c) have but don’t know what they are used for or d) all of the above – out of one area into another. The dance of the boxes. Yeah … that felt lovely.
So, add squishing to the burned hand. Nice.
But, as I was licking my hand off (because running it under cool water was not within reach and fyi cool water is good for both squished hands AND burns! As is, apparently, licking.) I thought, “Stop moaning … I’m really all right.” Ha ha … as it happened to be my LEFT hand and my RIGHT hand was just fine. Stupid joke.
Which made me think of those stupid jokes when you were a kid. Why do I have a memory for these things when I can’t remember any (ANY!) algebraic equations or the symbols in the table of chemical elements or what year the War of 1812 happened? I mean, seriously, do I really need to remember: Have you heard about the elephant who can’t stop going to the bathroom? It’s all over town! Or the one about jokester Humpty Dumpty … what were his final words after he fell off the wall and split open? Ha ha … yolk’s on you! After all these years – why do these things stay in my brain and yet I can’t remember other, more important/pertinent things. Certainly there is some brain center for stupid jokes and apparently mine is rather large.
In any case … I’m trying to forget the stupid jokes (What was Tarzan’s favorite dinner? Finch and Chimps!) and trying to remember that cooking with gas is speedy and things get hot (very fast) and that heavy, large boxes need more room when going through doorways. However, I’m not sure my brain is wired for learning at the moment. So, if you see me with charred or black and blue knuckles you might want to ask me to tell you a joke – I know plenty!