Day 72
I am a list person. I think I have always been a list person. Actually, I think I was born carrying a list in my tiny infant fist (not a great delivery for my mom – think of the paper cuts!) …
In any case … I’ve been a list-maker for a long, long, long time. And I’ve come to think of that trait as more of a curse than anything else!
Seriously. I find myself making lists for house projects, a list of to-do’s, lists for dreams and aspirations and the future, lists for the move, lists for the office/work, lists for the yard, lists for groceries and lists for myself.
Yesterday I put on the list … take shower. Really? I have to REMIND myself to take a shower? Um, no … but I’ve come to the point where I feel like I’m getting so few things actually DONE and off my lists that I’ve started adding stupid, mundane, everyday things to them so that I can actually CROSS SOMETHING OFF!
I know, I’m pathetic. But it’s true. If you are a list person you know the satisfaction of crossing off (or checking off – whatever is your thing) a “done” item. Instant gratification if you have dumb things like “take a shower” on your list. But whoo-hoo … ONE thing is done! Yay!!!!
So, usually, before I go to bed I look at my list and see what I accomplished that day … sometimes it is a ton of stuff … sometimes I ADD stuff at that time of things I did that weren’t ON my list just so I can scratch them off! Weird, I know. But, true. And satisfying! And, yes, again, I know … pathetic!
In the morning I get up and look at my list and start my day. The problem with this method of living is multi-fold … I tend to lose the lists. Heavens to Mergatroid as that is disasterous! I can flounder for days, aimlessly living life, without so much as a scratching off of anything! And then I start a new list and get going again.
Another problem is that the lists are just so overwhelming … too much stuff to do … so, I sometimes go in the opposite direction and do nothing or, heavens, do something totally NOT on the list! It could be a hot summer day and I have weeding on my list and I just say screw it – it’s too hot, I don’t want to get dirty, I have to clean the house, I have to make business calls … and then I find myself in the middle of the afternoon sorting through an odd box of Christmas decorations. Hmmm. The list failed me … or rather, I failed the list!
And then there’s the reliance factor. If my whole life is on a list … then my brain is numb and unused. I tend to have a paper brain. Not good because I tend to feel the one in my head is slowly turning to oatmeal. (Oh, reminder to self – put on grocery list: oatmeal.)
In any case, I like lists … they are helpful for the forgetful and mush-brained, they are satisfying in a weird OCD kind of way, and I think I’d be kind of lost without them. Which then brings me to think I should seriously consider psychological counseling for my reliance on them. But it would be something else I’d have to add to my list and I know I’d never scratch it off!