Day 27
I am a goofball. I like silly things and stupid trivia and corny jokes. I blame it all on my upbringing as that was customary when I was growing up … and word problems.
If having to eat broccoli or Brussels sprouts was not torture enough … having to wait for my dad to ask us one of those word problems at the dinner table – was. And I always got the god awful one about the trains.
You know the one I mean. Train A is departing from New York and speeding westward at 324 mph … Train B is departing from California and is speeding eastward at 287 mph. They are on parallel tracks. In what city will they pass each other?
Ugh … I don’t know. You expect an 8 year old to know this? You expect a 13 year old to care? I always feigned a stomach ache and left the table at about that time!
Ahh, the irony. Having had to endure those moments I subject the kids in the classrooms where I substitute teach to do the same. Nice! It’s a wonder I’m still known as the “fun/cool sub”! I have put a twist on these horrid little tidbits of torture for just those students! After a few times in the same classroom – the “thinkers” catch on to my tricks … the other kids, not so much!
I give them something like … Train A is leaving New York speeding eastward at 387 mph and Train B is leaving Florida and speeding northward at 124 mph. When will these trains pass each other?
Most of the kids try to figure this out … figuring out the distance between the states, how many hours it would take and when the trains would hypothetically pass each other. The ones who catch on realize I said the New York train is speeding eastward and would be in the Atlantic Ocean long before any train from Florida would arrive in the area!
Oh, stop groaning.
Some of my other gems are … if there are 3 roosters sitting atop a chicken coop and they are facing west and the wind is coming from the east – which direction will their eggs fall?
Come on people … roosters do not lay eggs!
Okay, now concentrate! If a plane from the United States crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada … where would the survivors be buried?
Well, if you said wherever their families wanted … you are NOT getting this! The survivors SURVIVED! They do not need to be buried!
Anyway … it makes the kids think and isn’t that the idea of school in the first place? Teaching them to THINK? So many times I see kids so bored with school and what they are doing … so, I whip out my handy dandy notebook full of goofiness and brain teasers and spice things up.
And, without having to figure out when the trains are going to pass each other … here are some more things to ponder:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard if he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an “s” in the word lisp?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto is on all fours? They are both dogs!
And, if corn oil is made from corn and olive oil is made from olives – what is baby oil made from?