Day 228
Ever need a little lift of the spirit? Well, I certainly do. Life hasn’t been anything how I expected it to be these past 6+ years … and being one who is hesitant to change, who does not like change, who prefers a routine with ruts that go down as far as China … these past years have thrown me a lot of changes.
I’m trying … but some days I just need a lift. And what do I do?
Do I eat chocolate? Well, yes … but that’s pretty much EVERY day, whether or not I need a boost!
Do I have a drink? Well, sometimes … if breathing is not an issue because I’m so allergic that after a few sips of wine I turn bright pink and my nose stuffs up – which makes breathing a bit difficult. But I do have a nice pink glow to me!
Do I go for a run? What are you crazy? Do you not know me at ALL?
Do I dive for the Cheetos bag? Well, yes but see the answer to eating chocolate.
Okay – so what DO I do that gives me a boost and lifts my spirit?
I GO TO WALMART.
I’m sorry, but I do. That’s because when I’m there, sorry Walmart customers, I feel like a million bucks.
I have teeth … well, minus my wisdoms and one molar, I have them ALL. And they’re clean. And decent looking. And no one could tell what I had for dinner earlier in the week by my smile.
I have hair … well, kind of. But it looks quasi-decent. Okay, so I’m kind of hair impaired … but it’s not as bad as some people’s. Like the guy I saw today … the owner of the world’s worst toupee! Oh dear god! It was like a weasel was sleeping on his head. Not good. My hair is not great but it doesn’t look like a wild animal has taken up nesting in it.
I don’t wear underwear w/patterns on them under white pants. I don’t wear sweat pants that are 3 sizes too small that have a smiley face on the butt. I don’t wear a top as a dress. I don’t need a scooter-cart to get around. I come in under roughly 400 lbs. And, as far as I know, I’ve never appeared in one of those Walmart emails.
For all intents and purposes … I am a goddess!
I am, quite simply, Miss America … in Walmart.
The other day I had to return light bulbs, of all things. I purchased what I thought were regular bulbs but when I got them home the base was bigger than small candelabra lamps and smaller than regular bulbs. Go figure. So, standing in line yesterday I had a good long wait and a chance to watch the people coming and going and all I can say is … I felt like I needed a bath by the time I got back to my car.
But it would have been a bath with lots of bubbles and me wearing a tiara … because, after all, I was Miss America.