Day 13
Our family traveled a cancer journey for 148 days … with a bad outcome. “Bad” in the sense of meaning … awful, devastating, life changing, horrid, putrid, heart shattering … BAD. My husband and my children’s father, Tim … died.
Yeah … pretty bad outcome.
We heard a lot of words and terms thoughout that journey but never the one I heard today, from a friend, who has also been traveling the journey that cancer takes one on … REMISSION.
Our family didn’t get that word. That was never in the vocabulary lesson. It was never mentioned because Tim was given “one month, maybe two, if all looked good … and nothing looked good.” That he survived as long as he did with all his complications was a miracle in itself. That “R” word was never even a remote possibility for him so I wasn’t quite sure what it would feel like if it came up for someone else. Now I do. And it’s wonderful.
I read Andrea’s email today and saw that word in the subject line and even before my computer (processing at lightning speed) could display her words, I had goose bumps and was crying my eyes out. Yeah, pure out sobbing; it’s how I roll – I cry when I’m happy, scared, frustrated, sad, angry. Take your pick. This time it was from pure joy and elation!
She shared on her post at My Life List (www.mylifelist.org) … saying that after 183 days remission stands for: recovery, rebuilding, revitalization, renewal, rethinking, reprioritizing … and relief.
Things – maybe, we all should do every once in a while – without all the cancer crap.
All those “R” words … rejuvenate and relax (ahh, sounds nice), regroup and rewrite (goals and dreams = doable). Maybe it’s time to take stock of our lives … change some habits (we tend to get sloppy in our ways) and recover some healthier ways of living.
Rebuild … a friendship, a portfolio, a savings account, or simply our confidence in ourself and our abilities and talents.
Revitalize … who wouldn’t like to jump out of bed and feel great? I’d like to jump out of bed. I’d like to feel great! Putting them together would be AMAZING!
Renew … a faith, a hobby, a tired looking room in your house, your wardrobe, your library card.
Rethink … what you think. Sometimes I don’t think and that bothers me. Rethink what you say and what you do … introspection may not be fun, but sometimes necessary.
Reprioritize … what REALLY matters? What would YOU do differently today – if you were told you had cancer? What would you do differently today if you were told you were in REMISSION?
The tears I shed before even reading that remarkable post were of joy and relief and an odd mix of selfish sorrow – for me, for Tim, for our kids and all who knew him. We didn’t get that happy ending – that blessed R word; but I can honestly say I am so thrilled that my friends did.
The “R” word that comes to mind for me? Rejoice!