Day 14
I need a housekeeper. I’ve been saying it for years now. It’s not that I don’t do it … and it’s not that I don’t get satisfaction out of doing it … and it’s not even that I don’t like doing it … I just don’t have the TIME.
And I don’t want to make the time. If I’ve got free time from animals and work and house projects and the yard and everything else – I’d prefer to do something FOR ME and not have to spend that time cleaning the house.
Years ago when I wasn’t working as I am and it wasn’t just me as care-taker of family stuff, home, critters and livelihood … I liked nothing better than to be Suzy Homemaker. I was a Martha Stewart wanna-be and did a pretty good job of it, if I do say so myself. But not anymore. I just want it DONE. The pleasure factor goes out the window when I open it up to air out the place!
I do my best thinking when vacuuming … and in the shower … and while driving and in saying that it really is a miracle that I haven’t (yet) sucked up an animal while pushing around my Dirt Devil, turned into a prune, or run someone over. Yeah … YET.
In any case, I spent the last hour or so cleaning and primarily vacuuming … and got to thinking that I should give up trying to teach the dogs how to vacuum. First off – they hate it … they run from the room if the thing is even wheeled in. It doesn’t even have to be turned on and they flee from the beast like they were in Pamplona. It’s kind of hard to teach them to use something (like those bed stairs) when they hate the tool that needs to be used. And they’d never be able to tie their aprons on. So, I’d be stuck tying aprons on and emptying out the vacuum canister … and they are not allowed near the outlets – so, I’d have to plug and unplug when they moved to a new room, etc. Easier, in the long run, just to do it myself! Rats!
Actually, I don’t mind cleaning – dusting is rather soothing in an odd kind of way. There are times when I get out the heavy duty “good” furniture polish or oil and at the end of several hours my home sparkles like an English museum … woods gleaming, their luster stirring hearts. Yeah right. In any case – the house looks good!
But it’s the vacuuming that gets me. I mean it really does actually GET me … I have sciatica and back fractures and after using the vacuum I can (more than not) feel the spasms starting and the shock waves beginning to go through my body. Lovely! I’ve been told the WORST thing I can do is vacuum. Well, I never asked if bull riding would be worse … or mountain biking … but I imagine. But for MY activities … vacuuming seems to be the worst thing I can do. Makes my life (and activity level – or lack thereof) sound kind of pathetic!
But – I endure and my home, once again, is a fur-free zone (at least for the next half hour) and my wood is gleaming, my bathrooms are sanitized, all counters are sparkling and my floors you could eat off of. (Yeah, well I wouldn’t really suggest that unless you wanted dirt and extra bits of rocks and leaves in your food because I didn’t wash my floors today.)
In any case … a housekeeper would be really nice. I could spend my time painting … or making soap … or body scrubs … or candles … or something! A live-in housekeeper gets (on average) $37,000 a year here in Denver. I definitely am NOT getting paid enough! I will have to talk to my supervisor!
In the meantime, I have to go feed the dogs. And me. Considering in the past 3 days I’ve eaten a handful of Twizzlers, a box of Rice-A-Roni, some peanut butter and crackers, and some left-over Valentine candy (and washed it all down with gallons of tea) … maybe I should forego thinking about getting a housekeeper and get myself a CHEF!