Day 12
I am a catalog junkie. In nicer terms, and according to my postman, I am the Catalog Queen. I can go days without getting nary a one … and then there are days when the post office truck practically backs into my driveway and my ever-patient delivery person lugs out a box of them … all for ME!
I pitch most of them – flipping through some, not looking at others on their way to the recycle bin. And then there are the “lucky few” … the CHOSEN ONES … that I’ll share some time with – maybe it’s just standing in front of the TV watching/listening to the news or while my dinner cooks or while the dog food is softening before the dogs get to eat it. Or maybe I’ll actually SIT DOWN with them. Those few, the serious catalogs of interest, get more than a quick perusing or casual flip-through. I’ll make tea, get a cookie (or two) and sit down, legs up on the stools – or on the couch (even better) and actually, LEISURELY, look through them. These catalogs usually contain gardening things or books, jewelry or personal spa/gifty items or music. I particularly like the ones that I would never order anything from in a million years; I just like to LOOK at what I would never order in a million years whether it’s absolute garbage or fit for an estate. And then there are the ones that have a zillion items and I look at them all. It’s not really like SHOPPING … more like window gazing from my comfy couch.
However, a week or so ago a product caught my eye. Oh curses … every once in a while this will happen which means I actually BUY something and the catalog company’s advertising disguised as nothing more than a magazine for grown-ups with pretty pictures (and item numbers) … has worked … and I am now buying what I may or may not need. Usually what I do NOT need but sometimes something is key to my whole plan of action and betters my existence.
And that day – such a thing happened. There in the catalog of whatever it was … was the foldable bed stairs I’d been thinking about so that the dogs could get up onto my (high) bed without me needing to lift them on/off and without one or more of them blowing out a knee when trying to jump on/off without these stairs. Wonderful news … sturdy, foldable and affordable. Bingo! Sold! With the click of a mouse – the order is … done!
And yesterday the stairs arrived. I was so excited! I unpacked them and in one swift move unfolded them and set them up next to my bed – where, in all honesty, they did not look as hideous as I imagined.
So – now to get these guys to USE them. I tried the pugs first. Dori was my first victim as I have to lift her up onto/down off of the bed all the time because she is so small. I thought this would be a great way for her to have some independence and be able to get up/down when she wanted. Ha! She squirmed away from the stairs like I was putting a snake into her face. After several attempts (on my part) of trying to get her up the stairs – she fled from the room and hid in my office; probably wondering why I was torturing her.
Okay – so, I tried Gertie. She usually uses the wing back that is near the bed as step one and then takes a flying leap from the chair to get up onto the bed … and then takes a flying leap from the bed to the floor to get down. Did I mention she has bad knees? Patellar Subluxation … more commonly known as “kneecap instability”. However you say it – she shouldn’t be taking flying leaps anywhere!
I got her started up the steps (now mind you there are only 4 steps – I’m not talking about walking up a Mayan ruin at Chichen Itza – it’s just FOUR steps!) … and she got up 2 of the steps, did a twist and somehow flipped off the little steps onto the chair and in a springboard fashion flew (and partially bounced, Tigger-fashion) onto the bed! I have NO idea how she did it but she would have gotten an 8.9 for style and execution if in a gymnastics meet! She was NOT about to try those steps again. I actually think she growled at me.
Okay … on to Moby. The real one I got these (now stupid) stairs for in the first place. She’s been having problems getting up onto the bed lately and she’s not getting any younger (11) … and after a long day of naps and lying in the yard and lying on the various dog beds (which are lying around the house) and eating and warding off foxes I felt it would be nice for her to have a cozy bed to get up on – without straining her big-dog body.
All I can say is if there had been a whale by my house I would have had an easier time getting it up those stairs than Queen Mobius. And that Gertie was barking and snapping at her while I was trying to get her up the stairs was not helping matters. I gave up after Mobes, somehow, nearly fell off the side of the steps. Seriously … she turned every muscle to stone and every cell to lead as I tried to push her (now 300 lbs.) up those 16″ to my bed. It was ridiculous.
I quit! Forget it! Return them!
And then a miracle happened. As I was sitting here earlier today working, I happened to see Oscar (my cat) walk into my bedroom and practically GLIDE up the steps onto my bed! The only animal of mine who can jump up onto and down off of my bed without a problem is the one using the steps! Animals! Go figure! Maybe he’ll teach the others!